Return of the Wolf
by first-breath-after-coma
Summary: Torchwood has fallen and is no longer in the control of Pete. Rose is captured and is being tortured until she gives into the demands of the new head of Torchwood. With the help of Bad Wolf, Rose hopes to escape captor and return to her universe. But what will she find if she gets back home? Can she escape her living hell? Mature content.
1. Chapter 1

**It's been a long time since I've posted a story. This is not beta'd either so any mistakes are mine. This is a relatively short chapter, basically introducing the situation. I will hopefully update pretty regularly. Please read and review!**

_Standard Disclaimer_

Chapter 1

* * *

Rose cried out in pain as the electric currents ran through her body. All she wanted was to black out. She needed to escape. But the damage wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to kill her. She only healed when she died. And they'd stopped killing her recently. Now the test was to see how fast she healed. How long she could take the pain. She was reaching her breaking point. Tears streamed down her face as her body convulsed. The current stopped but the convulsions continued.

"Are you ready to give in now sweetheart? All you have to do is surrender to me. It will all stop. I can stop them from testing you." It was the dreaded voice of the evil man whom she'd come to hate. Despite his beautiful face, there was nothing but darkness inside of him.

He leaned over her with a happy smile on his face. "Come on love. You can give in now. I will protect you."

Rose stayed still for a moment and then spat in his face. He wiped it off in disgust and backhanded her. It hurt but that pain was nothing compared to the other tortures she'd been subjected to.

He looked away from her and towards the technician. "Again."

The terrible pain was back. She prayed she would black out soon. _Please. Please God. Let it stop. Make the pain stop_. she thought. She tried to find her inner strength but it seemed to be disappearing day by day. Soon she would be nothing but a shell, an echo of her former self. What was she fighting for anymore? What did it matter anymore? She had nothing left for her in this world. Her entire family was dead. The Doctor was unreachable in her home universe. But even if she could escape to the other universe, could she even face the Doctor? Not if he shared the same face as his double. She couldn't do that.

_I want to die_.

But the Bad Wolf wouldn't let her die. The Time Vortex still ran through her, never allowing her to stay dead. Always healing her, always bringing her back. Always bringing her back to another day of pain and torture. Another day in Hell.

* * *

The Valeyard, the Doctor's meta-crisis renamed, threw Rose into her room. She stumbled and fell. Her legs weren't working properly. The Valeyard stood over her imperiously.

"You can end this you know. Just say the word and it will end."

Rose didn't even bother to respond. She didn't know if she could. Her throat hurt from the non-stop screams the electric shocks had wrested from her. The Valeyard slammed the door closed, leaving Rose in complete darkness. She didn't even have the strength to call upon the Time Vortex energy to create enough light in the room. Fortunately the cell, as she'd come to think of it, was small enough that she could crawl to the mattress on the floor that counted as her bed.

_Move legs, move!_ she demanded. Rose needed the bed. The bed was the only safe place for her. The bed meant sleep and escape.

Slowly, little by little, she crawled across the cold stone floor. Occasionally a tremor would run through her body, causing her to collapse as all strength left her.

_You can end this you know. Just say the word and it will end._ His words echoed across her mind. Each day those words sounded more inviting. Each day she was tempted to give in. There was only the small part of her that resisted. She held onto that part with all her strength. She had to, in order to keep her mind intact.

* * *

The Valeyard watched as Rose successfully made it to her bed. She collapsed on it and didn't move again. He knew his plan was working. Each day he could see a part of her spirit break away. Sometimes he did see a spark of gold. The Bad Wolf was there, trying to protect her. But the Wolf could only do so much. It could heal her body but that wasn't what he was after. Rose would break and would become his. She would be his submissive, obedient wife. She would use Bad Wolf for him. Together they would become untouchable.

He leaned back in his chair and sighed contentedly, remembering when he first captured Rose Tyler.

_Rose was struggling against two of his agents. Her efforts were futile. She didn't have the strength. The two men were genetically altered to be stronger than the average human. They made for great agents and guards. _

_"Ah, my Rose. It's so good to finally see you again." the Valeyard smiled. Rose's eyes locked on his and there was defiance and anger in them. He knew he would enjoy breaking her. _

_"What do you want?" she demanded of him. She stopped struggling for the moment but he knew that she was waiting for an opportunity to escape. She wasn't going to get that chance. _

_"I want you of course." He deliberately walked towards her slowly. There was fear in her eyes along with her defiance. The Valeyard smiled. Fear was good. He stopped right in front of her and lifted her chin with his finger. "I have plans for us, Rose Tyler." _

_Rose's eyes narrowed and then slammed her head into his. He reeled back in pain and the guard on her right hit her in the stomach with his fist. She keeled over, gasping for breath. The Valeyard wiped the blood from his nose with the back of his hand. It wasn't a hard enough hit to break his nose but it was pretty damn painful. He looked down at Rose kneeling on the floor, clutching her stomach. _

_'"That was very rude. I will have to teach you manners as well. But I have a something I need of you before we begin that lesson." _

_Rose looked up and he could see the fury in her eyes. They glowed gold slightly and the Valeyard smiled. _

_"I won't do anything for you. I would rather die." _

_"Oh Rose. You will. You definitely will." He laughed as she stared at him in shock. With a wave of his hand he said to the agents, "Take her to her room."_

The memory made him smile. It had been a sweet victory. She had managed to avoid capture for over a year but in the end, his agents had caught up with her. Then, with a little persuasion, she gave him the ability to regenerate again. Well, the Bad Wolf had. It was that or watch her family be tortured to death, one by one. Rose was so predictable. Threaten anyone she loves and she'll do anything.

He looked back at the screen and saw her reaching out to something that was invisible. He'd noticed her doing that lately. She would reach for things or pretend to draw in the air. The Valeyard knew it had to be something that the Bad Wolf was showing her and he was determined to figure out what.

* * *

Rose lay staring into the darkness. A golden light suddenly appeared and it slowly took the shape of a wolf. The wolf was the same color of the vortex, looking like it was made of gold dust. She reached out to it and took comfort that she was not alone. Her other half, the Bad Wolf, was always looking out for her in the best way she could. The wolf had started appearing when Rose had stopped dying every day. She helped with the pain and the loneliness.

Rose could feel the tremors subsiding as her body slowly began to heal from the day's assaults. By the next day she would be mostly healed. And then it would start all over again. Rose had lost track of the days. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd seen sunlight. The one thing she did know was that the Valeyard was winning. There wasn't much fight left in her. She knew he saw it. She saw the way he smiled after every torture session.

Her golden wolf lay down on her chest. Rose could feel the power of the vortex running through her veins but there wasn't much she could do with it. She didn't know how to use it in the first place. She'd only managed to conjure vortex energy to create light. There was nothing to it. She had no control.

_How much longer can I last?_ she thought. The wolf moved to curl up in the space between her neck and shoulder. Rose sighed and closed her eyes, letting sleep draw her away from the hell that was her life.

* * *

A/N: Hope you liked it! Please review. Chapter 2 will be longer. I hate short chapters so chapter 2 will be much longer...I hope.


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n: I wanted to answer a few questions that came up in the reviews. We'll discover how Rose's family died and if it is the Valeyard's fault. I chose the name "Valeyard" because it was the Doctor's darker self in the series. I thought it fit. **

**I have an idea of where this story is going but I'm only updating as I write. I keep thinking of the story throughout the day and writing the ideas down. I'm really excited with this story so I'm thoroughly enjoying it. I hope you like this chapter. Review please!**

Chapter 2:

* * *

The Doctor sighed as he stood outside the Ponds' room. Humans and their ridiculous need to sleep. He glared at the door for a moment longer before walking away. He didn't return to the console room. Instead he continued down the hall to a room he visited more regularly than he liked. He wasn't one to brood on the past but this particular part wouldn't leave him alone.

He stood facing the door with a name etched in circular Gallifreyan. _Rose Tyler._ After House deleted all of the TARDIS's rooms, he'd made sure this specific room was created again. The Doctor traced the name of the companion that he could not forget. Forgetting was his specialty. Hadn't he been running ever since he stole the TARDIS with his granddaughter? Running. Always running. Running from responsibility and from the horrors of the past.

But Rose, Rose was a completely different story. She was a special human. There was something about her that made her unforgettable. And no matter how hard he tried, the Doctor just could not get that special pink and yellow human out of his head.

He sighed again, placed his palm on the name for a moment, and then opened the door. It was exactly as she had left it. The bed, with its pink comforter was a rumbled mess; left unmade like usual. Posters hung crookedly from her walls. She had a picture of her mother and Mickey on the bedside table. Clothes were strewn on the floor as if she had been unable to decide what to wear on that terrible day.

Pain shot through his hearts and he quickly closed the door. It frustrated him, these painful emotions that just wouldn't leave him alone. It was time to escape these memories. He headed back to the console room and flopped into the jump seat.

* * *

Rose cried out again as the whip connected with the bare skin on her back. She could feel the blood dripping down her body. She was completely naked, adding to the pain and humiliation. Her shoulders were screaming in protest. She was hanging off a hook in the middle of an empty room. Her hands were cuffed and all of her weight was being held up by her wrists and shoulders. The tips of her toes barely brushed the floor. It was a tease, so close and yet so far from relief.

Time had slipped away from her again. She had no idea how long she'd been there for. Minutes? Hours? Days? All she knew was pain. Her shoulders felt like they were going to get pulled out of their sockets. When would the pain end?

_Please end. I can't take it anymore. Please. Kill me. _

The whip struck her already raw skin again. Her vision went black momentarily. Unconsciousness was within reach. If only she could grab it.

Suddenly her feet were touching the floor. The hook was lowered and she collapsed on the floor. She curled up in a ball as a different kind of pain overwhelmed her. While it was a relief to no longer be hanging, her shoulders burned and her wrists ached.

Her torturer left and she was alone for a little while. Or was it minutes? Or seconds? The door opened and closed. Footsteps grew louder as the man grew closer. It was him. There was no doubt. He had a certain walk. She'd learned that walk. She knew the sound of his footsteps made, the length of his stride, the way he held himself, everything. She kept her eyes closed when the footsteps stopped near her head.

"How are you doing love?"

Rose didn't even have the strength to move her body. She simply opened her eyes and looked at him. She couldn't even glare anymore.

"You're not looking too good. That can be solved you know." The Valeyard ran his down her cheek affectionately. Rose flinched. "Oh don't do that. I'm not going to hurt you."

"I find that hard to believe," Rose croaked.

"Rose, darling, you are in control of this. This will stop. I promise. I can stop this. You just have to say the word."

The Valeyard focused on Rose's eyes. Gold streaked through the brown. He suppressed the smile. He could see the struggle. She'd been tortured for so long and he knew she was at the end of her rope. The Bad Wolf would do anything for Rose. If Rose gave in, Bad Wolf would finally be in his control. Then he could finally get out of this godforsaken universe.

Rose remained silent. It infuriated him but he held back his anger. Instead he grabbed the chain of the cuffs and dragged her out of the room on her back.

Rose felt the pain and in a distant part of her mind she noticed the bloody trail that she was leaving behind. The Valeyard dragged her to her bed and left the room with his usual parting words.

"You can end this you know. Just say the word and it will end." When she didn't reply, he slammed the door and she was left in darkness once again.

She couldn't hold the tears of sorrow back anymore. She sobbed. Her entire shook as her grief, pain, and feeling of hopelessness overcame her. Her wolf appeared but was little comfort. Who could comfort her anymore? Her options for her future were dwindling to one.

"Doctor," she whispered so quietly she could barely hear the words, "Doctor please help me. Save me. Doctor."

* * *

_Doctor. Doctor. _

"Rose?" the Doctor said, sitting up quickly.

"Uh no. It's Amy." The red-head gave the Time Lord a quizzical look. "Who's Rose?"

"She's an old friend." The Doctor said offhandedly. He could have sworn he'd heard Rose calling his name. It must have been a dream. She was on his mind from his visit to her room earlier.

Amy was still looking at his oddly. "Are you okay Doctor?"

The Doctor clapped his hands and leapt out of the chair with enthusiasm. "Of course I'm okay! What could possibly be wrong Pond?" He didn't wait for her to respond, "Alright Ponds, where to next? Ah! How about Rio? I never took you to Rio. I owe you a trip to Rio!"

Amy and Rory exchanged looks as the Doctor pranced around the TARDIS console, flipping levers and switches wildly. The familiar sound of the TARDIS flying filled the room and they were off on another adventure. Unease filled Amy but the Doctor was not sharing at the moment. She would find out what was going on in her Raggedy Man's head.

* * *

Rose was lying back on her elbows on a field of grass. The grass was red and the skyline was orange. A light breeze blew through the open field. There was no pain here. There were no thoughts, no worries, nothing. She smiled and threw her head back.

"Rose Tyler," a woman's voice said.

Rose opened her eyes regretfully and looked at a woman with wild black hair and a dress that was quite unusual. She looked a little out of place in this landscape. Rose wanted the woman to go away and leave her alone. She was enjoying herself on this odd planet.

"Whatever you want, I don't care."

"Rose Tyler you must listen to me," she insisted.

"Go away. Leave me alone!" Rose turned away and closed her eyes again.

The woman looked at Rose sadly before disappearing in a golden light.

* * *

Rose woke when the door opened. A tray was placed by her bed and the person left again. Rose rolled over and grabbed at the food. She was starving and couldn't remember the last time she'd eaten. The tray held bread and cheese and a cup of water.

It was the best thing she'd experienced in such a long time. It was like it had been sent from heaven. The water was soothing to her raw throat. The bread and cheese didn't exactly curb her hunger but it helped. It was all gone too soon.

She rolled over on her back. The wounds had healed in her sleep thankfully. Sometimes Bad Wolf had enough strength to heal her while she slept. She raised her hand in the air and conjured up the image of the first incarnation of her Doctor. Big ears and a leather jacket. Then she brought the pinstripe suit wearing Doctor. His face was a bit more blurred than the leather Doctor's. There were differences in the Doctor's appearance and the Valeyard's. The Valeyard didn't favor the flashy suits. He only wore black. It matched his dark nature. The Doctor's suits were upbeat and went well with his trench coat. The Valeyard didn't wear a trench coat. It was these small differences that helped her keep them separate in her mind.

The door was open and light was spilling in. Shadows began to move in the corners, coming towards her like demons. They were stalking her like she was prey. Rose stood quickly and nearly fell over. Her head felt completely off and the demons were coming closer. She pressed herself against the wall, trying to escape. They were going to eat her. And it wasn't going to be quick. They were going to eat her bit by bit.

She screamed in terror. The demons were morphing, developing teeth and claws. They were at the edge of the bed.

"Rose!" the Valeyard called from the door.

"Help me!" she cried. "They're going to eat me. Help me!"

The Valeyard crossed the room quickly and scooped Rose up into his arms. She buried her face into his neck and sobbed.

"It's okay Rose. I've got you. They aren't going to get you."

"The demons. The demons! They want to eat me. Please hurry."

The Valeyard jogged until he got to his room. He opened the door, turned all the lights on, and placed her gently down on the bed.

"I'll be right back."

"No!" Rose begged. She grabbed his hand and didn't let go.

The Valeyard smiled and then turned back to her with a serious face. "I promise. You'll be okay. I'll be right back."

The Valeyard went to the bathroom and grabbed the syringe with the sedative. The drugs would be out of her system by the time she woke up. But he needed to use her confusion and fear the get closer to him. When he came back she was curled in a ball under the covers. She was shaking in terror. He placed the syringe on the end table and joined her under the covers. He pulled her into his arms and held her.

"Rose, my Rose. It's okay. I'm here. I'll protect you. I love you. I will always be here for you."

"I'm going mad. I so scared."

"You have nothing to fear when I'm here. I can help you. I can make the demons go away. Do you trust me?"

Rose looked up at him and met his eyes. He saw the gold once more and held her gaze. There was indecision there but he remained silent, giving her time to make a decision.

"Yes."

Smiling inwardly, he grabbed the syringe and showed it to her. "This will help. Do you trust me?" he repeated.

"Yes. Please, Valeyard. Save me."

He plunged the needle into her arm and injected the sedative. She was asleep in seconds. He pulled her close and reveled in the small victory.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So Hawaii was awesome. I was sick almost the entire time but it was still fun. I did manage to write chapter three while I was sick in the hotel room. I've deleted my author's note since I'm back. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

_Standard Disclaimer_

Chapter 3

* * *

Rose woke on a comfortable bed. This surprised her enough to sit up quickly. Her bed in her room was not comfortable like this. She looked around in confusion and a bedroom that was definitely not hers came into focus. The four poster bed was large and soft and covered in beautiful navy blue sheets. The comforter was white and white accent pillows were sitting at the end of the bed. The wood was dark and matched the two nightstands and the dresser. A large flat-screen TV hung on the wall facing the bed. A tall bookshelf stood along one wall with two comfortable-looking chairs positioned next to it.

It took Rose's sluggish brain a moment to realize that she must be the Valeyard's room. She tried to remember what had happened and why the hell she was in his bed. She quickly looked under the covers and found, with relief, that she was fully dressed. That didn't really mean anything but it was a comforting thought.

A door that Rose assumed led to the en suite bathroom opened and the Valeyard walked out. He was wearing only a towel around his waist and was using another one to dry his hair. When he saw that Rose was awake he smiled.

"You're awake. You've been asleep for quite a while now."

Rose quickly pulled the comforter up over her chest. Fear washed over her. What had he done to her? Why could she not remember?

The Valeyard looked at Rose with concern on his face. "Are you okay love?" He stepped towards her and Rose cowered. Frustration flared through the Valeyard again. It flickered across his face for a moment before he regained control. Rose caught the expression anyways.

"What happened? Why am I here? What did you do to me?"

"I did nothing. You were having a hallucination and I helped stop them. I brought you here to rest. My bed is much more comfortable than yours. You have nothing to fear."

Rose snorted and gave him a hard look. For the first time in forever she was finally feeling almost fully rested. It was a blessing but what was the price? Her golden wolf appeared and settled on her shoulder. She looked at her wolf and smiled. Whatever he had done had no affected her power or her companion.

"What are you looking at?" the Valeyard asked curiously.

Rose had not told him about the golden wolf. She didn't want him to take that comfort away from her. She didn't know if he could but it was not something she was willing to risk. She simply shook her head and remained silent.

"Would you like to stay here for a little bit?" the Valeyard asked suddenly.

This took Rose by surprise. "What?"

The Valeyard smiled. "You had a terrible night last night and I want to make sure you're okay. You can stay here and watch TV or read. You can take a nice hot bath. Anything you want."

Rose looked at him suspiciously. Where had this change come from? What was he doing? Had she said something last night to change his mind? Fear shot through her again. The wolf rubbed her head against Rose's neck, giving her the comfort she desperately needed. The wolf was warm and solid despite being made of golden dust.

"Rose, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm taking care of you. I took care of you last night and I will continue to take care of you. One day you will realize that you do love me."

Rose's head was spinning. This sudden kindness was so out of character that she thought she was dreaming for a moment. She actually pinched herself and found that it hurt. It scared her more than the torture she had endured for so long. What was his plan? Did he have a plan?

He moved to the closet and pulled out a black suit, white shirt, and red tie. He grabbed knickers and socks from a drawer and picked up a pair of black shoes. He then went into the bathroom to change. When he came back out, he fixed his gaze on Rose.

She remained silent. She had no words. The Valeyard approached her slowly and Rose visibly shrank into herself as he drew closer. With a gentle hand he touched her face. It was a soft and caring touch. He leaned in and kissed her lightly on the forehead. Rose remained frozen where she sat and watched in shock as he walked out of the room, locking it behind him.

* * *

The Valeyard smiled when he locked the door. His new plan was going to work. She was almost broken from the torture but this was going to make it better. Give her the comforts she desires and take them away if she misbehaves.

It still bothered him that Rose was seeing something he could not. He'd examine the video later to see if the cameras had picked up something he had not. He would get her to tell him. He wanted to make sure he was in complete control over the woman. Only with total control would he be able to harness the power of Bad Wolf and get back to the real world. This damn universe was grating on him. There was so much more power in the Doctor's universe and he would gain access to it.

He walked down the corridor until he got to a locked door. He entered the code on the number pad and walked in. Only he had access to this room. In the center sat the coral the Doctor had left for him to grow his own TARDIS in this world. Donna had mentioned how to grow a TARDIS 59 times faster on the day Rose and he were dropped off. The coral was growing but it was a slow growth which frustrated him. There just wasn't enough energy here for it to grow. Getting her back to Rose's original universe would speed up the process and then he'd finally have a TARDIS of his own.

He went over the calculations and made sure everything was functioning correctly. Once he was satisfied with everything he left the room and continued down the corridors to office to look over the videos.

* * *

Rose starred at the TV blankly. She wasn't actually seeing what was on. The football game just didn't hold her interest. Instead her mind wandered. More than anything else at the moment, she wanted her mother. But she would never have her mother again. She would never hug her mother or play with her little brother or talk to her father ever again.

The memory of finding out what happened to her family was clear in her mind. The Valeyard had told her of the accident but she had refused to believe him. She needed absolute proof and he gave it to her.

_The traffic camera wasn't the best quality but she could still see her father and mother in the front seats of their little sedan. She watched in horror as the lorry hit the passenger side of the car. The car was demolished, collapsing in on itself like it was designed to do. Rose watched in horror and held her hands over her mouth to keep herself from throwing up. Then the car burst into flames. Rose cried out and reached towards the screen as if she could save her family by touching it. Cars stopped and people jumped out. Tony was pulled from the back but no one could get to her parents. The lorry driver was pulled out as well. _

_Rose watched as someone started chest compressions on Tony. They didn't stop until the ambulance arrived 5 minutes later. The Valeyard turned the screen off when the ambulance drove away. _

_Rose turned to the Valeyard. "I don't believe you."_

_The Valeyard nodded as if he was expecting this response. He motioned for her to follow and she stayed right behind him. He walked into a sterile room that resembled a morgue. Rose knew Torchwood had a room like this for dead aliens. _

_Her heart froze as she saw three tables with three black body bags on them. She approached the cautiously. The tech waited until she was closer to unzip the first bag. It was Pete. He had cuts all over his face. _

"_Internal decapitation. He was dead on impact," the Valeyard said in a matter of fact tone. _

_The tech moved to the next bag. It was Jackie. She looked in worse shape than Pete. A huge gash ran across her cheekbone and something was wrong with her eye. _

"_Blood loss. Her femoral artery was cut. She bled out quickly. I doubt she felt much."_

_Rose didn't want to see the final bag. The tech unzipped it and she saw her little brother. He didn't look too hurt, just a bit bruised._

"_He died on the way to the hospital. Internal bleeding."_

_Rose backed away until her back hit the cold wall. She began to shake as the realization of her loss hit her. She was alone in the world. There was no one left. Rose slid down the wall and curled in on herself. She began to rock back and forth. _

"_Get out. Get out!" she heard the Valeyard shout. She didn't understand why until she looked down at her body. She was glowing gold. The aura was expanding around her. The power of the Bad Wolf gave her strength. She had to say good-bye. _

_Rose went to the bodies and stared down at her family. Golden tears fell from her eyes. She touched Pete, Jackie, and Tony over their hearts. The visible wounds disappeared momentarily before their bodies dissolved into gold dust. Rose sent her family into the Time Vortex as their final resting place. _

She was unsure if the accident was truly an accident. The Valeyard had never admitted to killing her family. He had threatened them before but he hadn't gone through with the threat. She had given in to his demands then. The Valeyard could regenerate. She didn't even know how many regenerations he had now. That thought scared her. What power had the she given him?

* * *

The Doctor was dreaming. He knew it was a dream because he was alone on New New Earth sitting the same hill he had sat on with Rose so long ago. The smell of the apple grass washed over him as the wind blew through the field. The hospital and the rest of New New York stood in the distance. The Doctor could see the cars flying around, going about their business. The last time he had been here was with Martha. _That_ had been an interesting day.

It bothered him that he continued to dream about Rose. Why did she keep popping up everywhere? Things that reminded him of her were constantly appearing, shooting pains through his hearts. Amy knew something was wrong though she didn't mention it. His Amelia knew him well. As well as any companion at least.

A blinding gold light appeared and a woman toppled out of it. He leapt to his feet and went to her. To his shock and horror he discovered it was Rose. She wasn't breathing. Her hair was wet and her silk nightgown was soaked; it clung to her like a second skin. He immediately started doing chest compressions. About ten compressions later, Rose coughed up a lung full of water. The Doctor sat back on his heels in relief.

Rose continued to cough until she could catch her breath. The Doctor simply sat there and watched her in awe. She seemed so real, even in this dream. Rose turned and met the Doctor's eyes. He was surprised to see anger there. Rose had never looked at him like that before.

"Why didn't you just let me die? I can't even die in my fucking dreams." She stood up, pulling at the purple silk. She pushed his chest hard and he fell onto his backside. "I just want to die and stay dead. Is that too much to ask for?"

The Doctor stared her, his jaw dropped unconsciously. He didn't even try getting up. This was not his Rose. There was no way. His Rose was not this angry. She was not this hostile.

"Rose?" he asked to make sure he was actually seeing his former companion.

Rose glared, "How do you know my name? Who are you?" She had her hands on her hips in a very Rose-like attitude.

Of course she didn't know him. He'd changed his face. He almost smiled in relief. Rose was angry at a stranger. He didn't know why she should want to die and that concerned him. But once she realized it was him, she'd tell him what was going on. She'd be happy to see the Doctor again…right?

"Rose, it's me. It's the Doctor."

Too his surprised she stepped back. Rage filled her eyes. The Doctor could actually feel it emanating from her.

"Doctor? Did you regenerate?"

"Yes. A little while ago actually." He stood and tried to step towards her but she backed away further. It hurt him but he tried not to let it show.

"You should have let me die," she said quietly.

"Why?"

Rose shook her head, took another step back, and screamed. She sounded like she was in terrible pain. It sounded like the pain was ripped from her body, her heart. The Doctor winced as the scream pierced him like a knife to the chest. What could have possible happened to make Rose scream in pain like that?

"I'm done Doctor," she said when the scream died down. "I can't do this anymore. I have no choice. You left me with no choice. You did this to me. You trapped me with _him._"

"Rose, I don't understand. What are you talking about?"

But Rose simply shook her head again and took another step backwards, widening the distance between them even more. A golden wolf appeared by her side. The wolf seemed to be made of gold dust and light. She was a rather large wolf; her head came to Rose's waist. She was absolutely beautiful. Rose placed her hand on the wolf's head.

"It's your fault Doctor. I no longer have any options. I must do what is best for me and," she looked down at her gold wolf, "Bad Wolf."

And with those ominous words, Rose disappeared in another flash of bright, gold light


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm working on chapter 5 right now. We're getting somewhere. I have no idea how long this story will be. I'm just rolling with it. :) I just want to say thank you to my awesome reviewers and followers. It makes me want to continue writing even more. Enjoy! **

_Standard Disclaimer_

Chapter 4

* * *

Rose woke up coughing. She coughed until all the water was out of her lungs, leaving her exhausted. When she rolled over she saw her savior. Of course it was him.

"Is there a particular reason why you were trying to kill yourself?" the Valeyard asked in a polite tone, a definite danger sign.

"I fell asleep," Rose replied truthfully. She was soaked and the purple silk gown she wore left little to the imagination. She scooted back to the wall and grabbed a towel than was hanging on the hook. She covered her body with the towel, hiding it from the Valeyard's penetrating gaze.

"You decided to take a bath in your night clothes?"

Rose didn't reply. She didn't really have an answer. Earlier when she gotten up to take a bath, she hadn't even considered undressing. The thought of seeing her body made her shudder. She hadn't died in a while and some of the scars still remained.

"My dearest Rose, dying will not solve your problems."

_No but it does provide a small relief._

"There is a way to solve them however."

Rose looked at the Valeyard hesitantly. Was he lying? Could she trust him? He had made the demons go away. She had trusted him then. The memory of this still surprised her.

"How?" she asked eventually.

"Do you remember the TARDIS coral the Doctor left us?" Rose nodded. "Donna explained how to help it grow faster. Well it's not growing as well as it should. It's this universe. In order for her to grow, we need to get her to her original universe. _Your_ universe."

"That's not possible. All the cracks sealed themselves."

"There are always cracks. We just have to find them. Bad Wolf can help us. The Time Vortex runs through you Rose. You can do anything. I can help you. Together we can go home."

It was a wonderful idea. She could go home. Her mother would be alive in the universe. She wouldn't have Pete or Tony but Jackie would be alive. And if the Valeyard was correct, she could have a TARDIS to travel the universe again.

"I will leave you to think about it. It will happen in the end Rose Tyler. We can do it one of two ways. Either you willingly help, or you will go back to being a science project again. My scientists are still quite curious about you. You have three days."

The Valeyard stood and left the bathroom. Rose sat alone on the cold floor for a long time. Thoughts bounced around her head, confusing her more than ever. She had three days before the torture began again. The break she had received was a blessing and a curse. If the torture resumed, she wasn't sure she would live with her sanity intact.

_What do I do?_

Her wolf appeared before her, larger than usual. She was the size of an average wolf. Rose reached out and touched her head. Warmth radiated from her, soothing to the touch and to the mind. The wolf walked forward and Rose rested her forehead on the wolf's. Tears because to leak from her eyes and she cried quietly, clutching to her wolf for comfort.

* * *

The Valeyard watched Rose climb back into his bed. She had changed into the blue silk nightgown he had left on the bed for her. She looked like the goddess she was. He could see her absently petting the air. It still bothered him that he couldn't see what she was seeing. It had to be something with Bad Wolf. That was the only explanation. She would tell him in the end.

He was getting somewhere with Rose. He could see it in her eyes and in her responses to him. She definitely feared him but she also saw he would be an escape. A small shiver went through him. All this time he had worked to get to this point. Over a year's worth of effort and he had her within his grasp. It was infuriating. He was so close.

_Patience_. He reminded himself. It would be worth it in the end.

His eyes returned to the monitor. He longed to hold her as he had held her when he carried her to his rooms. He loved her and he had always loved her. He loved her since the moment of his birth.

"_Hold on, this is the parallel universe, right?" Rose spun around, looking at the familiar bay._

"_You're back home," the Doctor said. _

"_And the walls of the world are closing again, now that the Reality Bomb never happened. It's dimensional retroclosure. See, I really get that stuff now." Donna told Rose. _

_Rose turned to the Doctor in anger and disbelief. _

"_No, but I spent all that time trying to find you. I'm not going back now." Her voice shook angrily. This couldn't be happening. _

_The Doctor walked towards her, his hands in his pockets. "But you've got to. Because we saved the universe, but at a cost. And the cost is him. He destroyed the Daleks. He committed genocide. He's too dangerous to be left on his own."_

"_You made me," the meta-crisis Doctor said angrily. _

"_Exactly," the Doctor replied harshly. "You were born in battle, full of blood and anger and revenge." He turned to Rose. "Remind you of someone? That's me, when we first met. And you made me better. Now you can do the same for him."_

"_But he's not you." Rose said in a shaky voice. _

"_He needs you," he said softly. "That's very me."_

_Donna stepped forward. "But it's better than that though. Don't you see what he's trying to give you?" She looked to the meta-crisis. "Tell her. Go on."_

_Rose turned to this new Doctor, the man with the same face but who wasn't the Doctor. "I look like him and I think like him. Same memories, same thoughts, same everything. Except I've only got one heart."_

"_Which means?" Rose asked quickly. _

"_I'm part human. Specifically the aging part. I'll grow old and never regenerate. I've only got one life, Rose Tyler. I could spend it with you, if you want." There was a hopeful, almost pleading tone in his voice. _

"_You'll grow old at the same time as me?"_

"_Together."_

_Rose tried to wrap her mind around this news. She shook her head but stepped forward and placed her hand over his heart. There was only one heartbeat. She smiled and the part-human Time Lord returned it. _

_The TARDIS made a loud noise, getting the Doctor's attention. Rose whipped around. _

"_We've gotta go," he told her. "This reality is sealing itself off forever." The Doctor turned and started walking back to the TARDIS with Donna. She ran after him, the familiar burning sensation returning behind her eyes. _

"_But, it's still not right, cause the Doctor's still you." He couldn't be doing this to her again. Not again. Not on this same beach. Not in this same spot. It couldn't possibly be true._

_The Doctor turned around again. "And I'm him."_

_Rose had to make sure of one thing. "Alright," she said, glancing at the meta-crisis before returning her attention back to the true Doctor. "Both of you, answer me this. When I last stood on this beach, on the worst day of my life, what was the last thing you said to me? Go on, say it!"_

_The Doctor took a deep breath. "I said, Rose Tyler."_

"_Yeah, and how was that sentence going to end?" she demanded._

"_Does it need saying?" _

_Of course it needed saying! She needed to hear him say it. The Doctor didn't reply so she turned to the other Doctor. _

"_And you Doctor? What was the end of that sentence?"_

_He leaned down towards her ear whispered the three words she'd waited so long to hear. "I love you."_

_She looked at him for a long moment. Here was the man she had loved for so long. He was here and he was human and he'd said the words she had desperately wanted to her come from the Doctor's lips. She grabbed his lapels and pulled him into a lip-crushing kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck but broke off when she heard the TARDIS start to disappear. She ran forward a couple of steps but stopped. The new Doctor stepped up and took her hand. She looked down at their joined hands and the new Doctor gave her hand a squeeze. He would be the Doctor for Rose but he would be so much more as well. _

The Valeyard smiled at the memory of the kiss. He could still remember the feel on her lips on his. He remembered the good times, before Rose began to fear him. She feared his curiosity in the beginning. When Bad Wolf showed herself, the Valeyard had been seized by the need for knowledge.

Then she ran. That was when the rage came over him. He had been determined to find her, to force her to love him again. It was when Torchwood fell under his command that he became the Valeyard. In that moment he knew what he wanted and what he would get. Rose Tyler had become the center of his attention and he had not wavered.

With a shake of his head, he withdrew himself from memories. Rose was asleep on his bed. _Their_ bed. He would not join her that night. But maybe, just maybe, tomorrow night would bring him his deepest desires.

He smiled, switched off the monitor, and retired to another of his bedrooms.

* * *

The Doctor was running with Amy and Rory in tow. Sontarans were hot on their tails, firing freely.

"Doctor! If we survive this I'm going to kill you!" Amy screamed in her Scottish accent.

"You have to catch me first!" The Doctor said, laughing wildly. He dived behind a marble column in the palace throne room, barely missing regeneration by a Sontaran bullet.

"You just had to find an invasion on an alien planet." Rory shouted from behind a neighboring column.

Dust flew through the air as the shots pelted into the marble. Soon the Sontarans would be on top of them.

"You will face us and die at the hands of the mighty Sontaran army," one short, potato-like man boomed.

"Sorry to disappoint but that's not going to happen," the Doctor called back. He took the sword he had been carrying from the armory and cut the rope holding up the giant curtains in the throne room. Rory did the same on the other side. The heavy curtains fell on top of the Sontarans, distracting them enough to run. The Doctor grabbed Amy's hand and Amy grabbed Rory's. They were off.

"Time to save the princess!" the Doctor called to his companions. He laughed like the mad man he was.

* * *

Rose lay in the Valeyard's bed, absentmindedly petting her miniature wolf that rested on her chest. She wondered if the Valeyard would join her. He hadn't been around since he'd first brought her to his rooms.

Just before the Valeyard had resuscitated her, Rose had been dreaming; an odd thing seeing as she was dying, not sleeping. It was weird because a stranger claiming to be the Doctor had been there. He definitely did not look like the Doctor she remembered but he had said he'd regenerated. How could she be dreaming, or whatever she had been doing, about the Doctor in a form she hadn't seen before?

He acted differently as well. He looked younger and…there was no other word for it…floppy. Floppy hair, floppy arms, floppy hands. His movements were more exuberant. He used his hands while speaking a lot. This new Doctor, if he truly was the Doctor, was weird. And he was wearing a box tie and suspenders? It was almost comical.

In her dream she had been angry with the Doctor. If she really thought about it, she was furious with him. Every word she had told the dream Doctor had been true. It was his fault. She had been tortured because he had left her with the Valeyard. And the Doctor wouldn't save her. He ran and never looked back. Always. He'd done it to her more than once and he'd do it to all his future companions eventually.

Rose looked at her wolf. The Valeyard said he could help Rose use Bad Wolf. Could this be true? All she had to do was stop fighting him. Listen and give in. Was that so difficult? Where was the gain in resisting? She was on her own.

She believed the Valeyard loved her. He had always loved her. He was overzealous with certain things, especially regarding her, but he loved her.

_And the torture?_ A small part spoke up. It was so quiet and distant it barely drew Rose's attention.

He was doing tests on Bad Wolf. And if those tests helped them grow the TARDIS and escape this universe, it would be worth it. Right?

Rose let out a groan and moved into a more comfortable position. There were too many thoughts. Too many emotions were clamoring for attention and it felt like she was truly drowning.

Her wolf grew slightly larger, the size of the average indoor cat, and curdled up next to her. Rose looked long and hard at her wolf. Her wolf came from Bad Wolf. There was power there. She knew it and she knew she could use it.

"So many thoughts, my wolf. So so many thoughts."

With a sigh, Rose closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

His companions were sleeping again. They had saved the princess and rescued her people from the Sontaran invasion. It had been a fun adventure.

The Doctor had barely stopped running since his horrific dream. It was one crazy adventure after the next. He knew it was a distraction but distractions were his specialty. It was these moments when the Ponds needed sleep that he couldn't stop the thoughts he was running from. He had taken to going on dates with River Song. They were another good distraction.

River. That was a whole other issue. He cared about her. He truly did. But he did not love her; not as she loved him at least. It was more out of obligation than love that he married her. But he promised himself that he would be there for River. She had saved his life and her time in this world was slowly coming to an end. All too soon she would be headed towards the Library and to her death. Another life he could not save. Another death he had caused.

The TARDIS materialized outside River's cell in Stormcage. It was time for a night of dancing. River loved dancing. The Doctor opened the TARDIS doors wearing a black suite with a frock coat and his bow tie. River looked up from her journal and grinned.

"Hello sweetie."

"Mrs. Song, how about a night of music and dance?" The Doctor took out his sonic screwdriver and unlocked her cell door. He held out his hand and she took it with a smile.

"That sounds wonderful. I take it my parents are sleeping?" she asked as she stepped into the TARDIS after him and closed the doors.

"Yes. Now move along and get changed. You wouldn't want to cause the ladies of the court to faint, being naked as you are."

River grinned and headed towards the closet the TARDIS had provided for her. The Doctor smiled after River. River reminded him of the time when he accidently took Rose to Cardiff in 1869 where they met Charles Dickens and the terrible Gelth. Charles had saved their lives that day but at the cost of the poor Gwyneth's life. Rose had grieved over the loss of Gwyneth. Rose, the defender of the innocent. She had fought him tooth and nail about the Gelth using the dead as bodies. She had been right in the end.

Rose! There she was again. Constantly intruding on his thoughts. The Doctor shook his head vigorously and put in the coordinates for the TARDIS to take them to a party in 17th century London.

River returned as the TARDIS landed. "So Doctor, where are we tonight?"

"Off to a royal ball."

"Sounds wonderful." River was grinning again.

The Doctor returned the smile and held the door open.


	5. Chapter 5

**a/n: Just a little warning that this has some torture in it. Read and review! **

Chapter 5

* * *

It was late afternoon the next day when Rose saw the Valeyard again. He was carrying her lunch on a tray. He smiled when he saw she was awake and reading in one of the chairs next to the bookcase.

"Did you find a book you like?" the Valeyard asked, placing the tray on the coffee table in front of her.

Rose held up the book so he could read the title. He laughed and she blushed.

"Harry Potter. Of course. Good ol' J.K. You know,I helped save the Earth with one of her spells, with the help of Martha and Shakespeare." The Valeyard smiled.

"You did?" Rose asked curiously. "What happened?"

The Valeyard went on to explain about the Carrionites trying to free their race from the Darkness and take over Earth. He was hesitant to talk about Martha but Rose seemed to be more interested in the events than who his companion had been at the time.

"So Shakespeare rewrote the ending but ran out of words so Martha randomly said 'Expelliarmus' and Shakespeare repeated it, causing the Carrionites to be trapped within a crystal ball, never to bother the universe again."

"Wow. That's hilarious. Shakespeare with writer's block," Rose laughed, causing the Valeyard to smile.

"Well he was under a lot of pressure to save the world and all of human-kind. I think that's a good excuse for writer's block."

"I would say so," Rose said. She marked her place with a bookmark and placed the book back onto the shelf.

The Valeyard nodded and waited for Rose to speak up. He wanted Rose to lead the conversation today. It wanted her to feel comfortable and at home. Talking to her of the adventures the Doctor had had after Rose had become trapped in this parallel universe seemed to make her happy.

"Are those chips?" Rose asked tentatively. The smell was intoxicating.

"Of course. Go ahead and eat."

Rose dived in and groaned when she took her first bite. It had been a very long time since she'd had chips. She ate in silence for a while until the silence seemed to press down heavily on her ears.

"So, uh, you mentioned the TARDIS coral. How's it doing?"

The Valeyard looked oddly triumphant for a moment so brief, Rose wasn't sure she'd even seen it. In fact, he looked sad.

"She is struggling. There is not enough energy in this universe. There is no Gallifrey here so she is the only TARDIS to have ever grown here."

"Can you feel her?"

He nodded gravely. "Yes. It's frustrating. I can do nothing for her at the moment. It's why I need to get her to her original universe where she can grow and thrive."

They sat in silence once more. Rose was having an internal battle before finally deciding on what she wanted to do.

"May I see her?" she asked quietly.

The Valeyard beamed. "Of course. Are you done? Do you want to go now?" He was like a child in a sweets shop. It almost made Rose smile. He had the energy the Doctor always had right before they solved a new mystery.

Rose put the plate down and stood. "Let's go."

The Valeyard stuck out his hand and Rose grabbed it without thinking. It felt natural. His hand fit hers perfectly. A pang shot through her heart as her mind flashed to the times when she had grasped the Doctor's hand like this.

Without another word he pulled her out of the room and down the winding halls. She was lost almost instantly. The place was built like a maze. It had been designed that way in case of an alien escape. It made escaping to the outside world more difficult with all the changing halls and lights. Rose thought back to the times when she herself had gotten lost on multiple occasions. It had been beyond frustrating. If she could get lost even though she worked for Torchwood, then the aliens had no chance.

It was hard to keep up with him. Her body was thin and she had not used her muscles in this way in so long. The Valeyard seemed to notice and he slowed down. Suddenly they were standing in front of a door with a number pad next to the handle. Rose could feel something coming from inside the room but she couldn't explain what it was. It felt sick and made her slightly nauseous.

"I believe you will feel her as well, maybe even more than I do. If it's too much let me know and we will leave."

He punched the code in and opened the door. Rose stepped in and saw the baby TARDIS in the middle of the room. The Valeyard had been right. She could feel the TARDIS. She was weak and barely hanging on to life. The nausea intensified and she fought to keep the bile from rising into her throat.

Without asking for permission she walked towards the dying ship that was clinging to life with all it had. She could feel Bad Wolf awakening within her. Her golden wolf appeared in her largest form, the size of the average gray wolf. She heard the Valeyard gasp and she knew he could see her wolf but, at the moment, she didn't care. Her whole attention was focused on the TARDIS. The ship was pulling at her heart, beckoning her, drawing her closer to the center of the room.

Rose and the wolf approached the TARDIS slowly. The song of the TARDIS's sang in Rose's mind. It was weak and distant and sad. Rose knew she had to do something. She reached out and touched it with her forefinger at the same moment the gold wolf touch it with her nose. A flash of gold light lit up the room. Time Vortex energy flowed into the heart of the TARDIS. It wasn't much but it was enough to help strengthen the struggling TARDIS.

Rose stepped back with the wolf by her side. She felt slightly drained but happy. The energy she had given the TARDIS had strengthened it slightly. Rose knew there had to be more she could do for it but at the moment the TARDIS was safe from death. She looked down at her wolf and beamed. The wolf let out a small yip in reply.

The Valeyard made a small noise, drawing Rose's attention. It was then that she realized what was actually going on around her. She looked at him fearfully. He simply looked amazed. In that amazement she also saw hunger.

"What did you do? She feels stronger." The Valeyard walked past Rose to the small TARDIS.

"I don't really know. I just did it."

He turned around and looked from Rose to her wolf. He focused on the wolf and squatted so he was eye-level. It made Rose nervous to have him so close to her wolf. She placed a hand on the wolf's back to steady herself.

"She's beautiful," he breathed. "She's the thing I've seen you looking at or touching."

Rose nodded. She was afraid that he could see her wolf. She didn't want to lose her only source of comfort. The wolf didn't move or look away from the Valeyard. She stood solidly next to Rose, letting Rose know that she wasn't going anywhere.

"She must be the embodiment of Bad Wolf."

Rose shrugged. "She just appeared one day." She withheld the fact that it was after a particularly brutal torture session.

_Rose was face down on a hard table. Her arms were extended out to her sides and strapped down. Her head was also strapped down and she couldn't move it at all. She was blindfolded and wearing something that muffled her hearing. Her back was bare but she had been able to keep her knickers on; a small comfort. Her legs were also strapped down at the end of the table. She was completely immobile. It made it much easier for her torturer. _

_Pain shot down her back as she felt the blade separate her skin. Her sense deprivation made everything worse. She couldn't hear when the blade was being picked up for the movements of her torturer. It was all a waiting game; a mental torture on top of a physical one. _

_A few moments later, Rose felt the needle pierce the newly separated skin. Her torturer was stitching the cut back together. He'd been doing this over and over again. Slice. Stitch. Slice. Stitch. Slice. Stitch. The lengths were always different and the time between each was erratic at best. She didn't know which was worse; the feel of the blade on her back or the needle and thread continually going through the fresh slice. _

_Tears fell from her eyes but the blindfold kept them from falling down her cheeks. Her throat was raw from screaming. She couldn't even manage a scream anymore. The pain was almost unbearable. She had lost track of time again. How long would she have to endure this? How long had she been on this table? How many times was the blade going to cut her open? When would it stop?_

_Rose suddenly felt her hospital gown being tied back up. Even that hurt. The fabric touching her raw skin was incredibly painful. Her straps were removed, as were her blindfold and the ear mufflers. She pulled her arms to her sides and gasped as pain seared down her back. After that she didn't even try moving. _

_She didn't know how long she lay on that hard table. She didn't want to move yet she longed for her bed. The Valeyard eventually came for her and forced her to walk to her bedroom. He left with his usual departing words and left her in the darkness. She made her way to her bed and collapsed onto it. _

_It took everything in her to force herself to untie the knots on the gown. Everything hurt. Moving hurt. Breathing hurt. Living hurt. Existing hurt. Rose felt the burning behind her eyes but she no longer had any tears left to shed. She simply lay there, her mind blank except for the pain. Her world was pain. Her existence was pain. To die would be a relief. To die and stay dead would be even better. _

_Her eyelids suddenly lit pink as light appeared in her room. Rose's eyes snapped open and to her shock she saw a small wolf the size of a 6-month-old Labrador retriever before her. Despite its size it looked full-grown. It was gold and seemed to be made of gold dust and light. The wolf's bright eyes met Rose's. Peace overcame her. Despite her pain, she reached for the golden wolf. It walked forward and pressed her head to Rose's palm. Warmth spread through her arm and into the rest of her body. The pain on her back began to ease. It wasn't gone all together but it became more bearable. _

_Rose stared in awe at the golden being before her. She was breathtakingly beautiful. Instinctively she knew this was part of Bad Wolf and her connection to the Time Vortex. She didn't care how it was possible; she simply accepted and reveled in it. She wasn't alone anymore. _

Rose withdrew herself from her memories and forced herself to focus on the current situation. The Valeyard reached out to touch the wolf but she stepped away, walking behind Rose and stopping Rose's other side. The Valeyard frowned but said nothing. The wolf looked up a Rose for a moment before disappearing from sight.

"Is she gone?" the Valeyard asked.

"Yes."

"Can you do anything with the Time Vortex power?"

Rose hesitated before answering. "It's nothing special. I can just conjure a light source."

She held her right hand out, palm up. She then pressed her left palm on top of her right and lifted it slowly. A trail of gold dust and light appeared, resting on her right palm. The dust and light formed into a sphere, looking like a little sun hovering over Rose's hand. Light shone from the tiny sun, lighting up the room. The TARDIS in the center of the room reacted to the light and Time Vortex energy. It let out a low hum as if it were basking in the sun. Rose let the sphere hover for a few moments longer before closing her hand into a fist. The light dissipated and the TARDIS grew silent.

The Valeyard was silent for a few moments. He simply stood there in shock and awe. Finally he managed to find his voice.

"Do you know what this means? We can help this TARDIS grow to her full potential and leave this universe. Together we can save her from dying." The Valeyard grasped Rose's hands in both of his. "Rose, this is what we need to get home. You and Bad Wolf are the key to that. You must help me save the TARDIS," he said in a pleading tone.

Rose looked at him, her thoughts bouncing around. She had been thinking the same thing. She could save the TARDIS but at what cost? What would she be forced to do? What would he make her do? She was scared. Fear had become her constant companion for over a year. It was fear that led her decisions now.

"I-I have to think about it," she replied in a shakily. Anger and frustration flared in the Valeyard's eyes but he didn't do anything. Instead he dropped her hands and nodded.

"You have two days," he told her flatly and held open the door for her.

The Valeyard led the way back to his rooms and let her inside. Rose expected him to join her but he simply stood in the doorway and stared at her. He held her gaze for a long moment before closing and locking the door without a word. An uneasy feeling crept over Rose. Her future rested on this decision and it was not going to be an easy one to make.

Rose began to pace as her mind raced. Everything in her wanted to help the TARDIS. The TARDIS needed her. It hurt to even think of abandoning the ship and leaving it to die. But helping the TARDIS meant helping the Valeyard. Could she do that?

_If we get home, I can escape from him_, she thought as she paced. The thought almost made her laugh. _Escape, ha! If only it were that easy. _Nothing was easy in her life anymore. A small decision could have drastic consequences. More than once Rose had tried to access the Time Vortex to see the consequences of any action she took but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't see anything. It was beyond frustrating that she could conjure a ball of light but couldn't do anything else. She supposedly had all this power yet she couldn't access it. The Valeyard had said he could help. What if he could? What if she could have full access to Bad Wolf? She would have the power to escape.

But did she want to escape anymore. True, he could be power-hungry asshole. But he could also be kind and gentle. He loved her. He wanted her to reach her full potential. What if he could help her achieve her true potential? Was the cost of his help too high? It was all beyond confusing. His love for her was confusing. Did she still love him? Was the Doctor still part of him? Could she bring the Doctor back?

Rose let out a frustrated groan and rested her forehead on the wall next to the bathroom door. Two days. The Valeyard said she had two days. Was two days enough time? This decision would decide the rest of her future. How could someone decide that in two days?

Rose beat her head against the wall a few times. It was going to be a long 48 hours.


	6. Chapter 6

**a/n: Okay, so this has quite of bit of the Doctor talking about Rose but I like it and felt that it was necessary. I also want to thank all my reviewers and followers. You guys made me so happy and I feel so special. :) You are just awesome. Anyways, enjoy!**

Chapter 6

* * *

The Doctor was standing in front of Rose's door again. His companions were sleeping and he'd found himself wandering the TARDIS halls. Without even realizing it, his feet had led him to this room again. He'd been standing there for a solid five minutes. Not much was going through his mind as he stood there. He simply stared at the door and the name engraved on it with a sense of longing and loss.

"Doctor?"

The Doctor jumped a bit, startled out of his mindless state by Amy. She was wearing her pajamas and wrapped in a lilac bathrobe. He smiled when he saw her, trying to seem like his usual bubbly self.

"Pond. What are you doing up?"

Amy smiled. "Rory is snoring and I can't sleep. I went to the console room to find you but you weren't there." Amy noticed the door for the first time. "What room is this?"

The Doctor took a few steps back and leaned against the opposite wall nonchalantly. "It's nothing. Just a room."

Amy didn't believe him for a second. She put her hands on her hips and gave him a hard stare. The Doctor couldn't really resist the stare. He could at least tell her, even if he didn't go into too many details.

"It's Rose's old room."

Amy raised an eyebrow. "Rose? As in your old companion? Do you keep all your companions' old rooms?"

"No. Just Rose's."

He was sticking to short answers but Amy wasn't having any of that nonsense. She walked past him and, before he could stop her, opened the door and walked in. She was almost blinded by the amount of pink. Apparently this girl liked the color.

"Amelia Pond!" the Doctor exclaimed in protest. He didn't follow her into the room. He stopped at the doorway, seemingly unable to cross the threshold.

Amy ignored the Doctor and looked around the room. On the nightstand Amy found pictures of a young, blonde woman with another older blonde woman. Amy assumed this was Rose and her mother. She picked up the picture frame and turned to the Doctor. There was also a picture of Rose and another guy, black with hair so short you couldn't even grab it. But the pictures that grabbed Amy's attention most was Rose with a thin man in a pinstripe suit, glasses, and hair that seemed to defy gravity. She picked up the picture and showed it to the Doctor.

"Is this you and Rose?" she asked unnecessarily.

The Doctor nodded but didn't say anything. His stomach seemed to be in the region of his Adam's apple. He didn't like that Amy was in Rose's room. It felt like an intrusion. She was physically seeing his past and that was something he kept as secret as possible. He was always looking to the future, to his next adventure.

Amy put the picture back down and sat on the bed. She patted the empty space next to her, beckoning the Doctor in to sit down with her. She knew her Raggedy Man needed to talk even if he didn't know it himself. The Doctor hesitated for a moment before entering. He kept his focus on Amy as he walked through the hauntingly familiar room.

"Tell me about her."

"Why? It's my past. She's gone and I've moved on."

Amy snorted. "If you had moved on you would not be standing in front of her door or barely able to come in. Tell me about her."

"It's a bit of a long story."

"I like stories. Please Doctor, I want to know."

The Doctor stared at his companion for a long moment. Amy didn't say anything. He took a deep breath and began to speak.

He spoke of their first meeting and a few of their first adventures. He told Amy of the happy energy Rose had, how she was always ready for fun, always looking forward to their next adventure. When he got to Satellite Five and their battle there, he paused, unable to find words. That had been two regenerations ago. Two lifetimes ago.

"What happened?"

He went on to explain about the games and the Daleks. He told her of the Delta wave and the difficult choice he had to make. It had been a difficult choice at the time but choosing to not use the Delta wave was the right decision to make. He explained about tricking Rose into the TARDIS and sending her back into her own time. The Doctor knew Rose had not been happy about that.

The Doctor paused and a small smile crept on his face and a chuckle managed to escape. "Rose Tyler, Defender of the Earth. She doesn't back down from a fight and doesn't take no for an answer. She never listens. She read the signs that had been following us through time. Two words kept popping up wherever we went. Bad Wolf. In the end she opened up the TARDIS console and looked into the heart of the TARDIS. It was beyond dangerous and extremely stupid but that would never stop Rose.

"Rose came back, full of the Time Vortex. It was killing her. She was a goddess. She could see through time and space and could control the very atoms. She destroyed the Emporer and the insane Daleks and brought Jack back to life. I absorbed the Time Vortex from her body and sent it back to the heart of the TARDIS and Rose returned back to her usual self. But saving her came at a cost. I regenerated into my tenth form."

They were silent for a while. He knew that he had to tell her the last parts of the story of Rose Tyler but it was one of the more painful parts of his past. Amy waited in silence while the Doctor struggled with himself. Amy knew that he spent most of his time looking to the future and avoiding his history. Her Doctor was over 1000-year-old now and he had obviously seen many things. There were times that she could see how old he truly was. His eyes would get this haunted look. This happened most often when lives were threatened and he became an angry storm, powerful in his wrath, unforgiving in his hearts.

"It was the Daleks and the Cybermen. The Battle of Canary Warf. I'm sure you've heard of it." The Doctor explained how the Daleks and the Cybermen had come through. He told her of Torchwood and their idiocy and their reckless use of alien technology that they didn't understand. He explained how the cracks were opening wider, both worlds were becoming unstable.

"The only way to stop it was to close the cracks and seal off the worlds forever."

"That sounds a bit complicated with a bunch of Daleks and Cybermen running around," Amy said.

The Doctor smiled. "Yes but I am brilliant and found a way. See, when you travel through the Void you get this Void-stuff on you."

"Void-stuff? That's your fancy term for it?" Amy asked in disbelief.

"Hey! That's only way I could describe it." He shot Amy a dirty look before moving on. "By opening the hole in universe, the Void-stuff that covered the Daleks and Cybermen would be pulled back to the Void"

"I'm sensing a problem."

"Well, Rose and I had travelled to the parallel universe, falling through the Void. Mickey and Pete and their team had also travelled through the Void. If I opened the crack, everyone would be sucked in too. I sent them and Rose to the parallel universe and planned to fix it myself. I could anchor myself so I didn't sucked in. But Rose, oh Rose, decided she wasn't having that and came back."

"But?"

"A flying Dalek hit the lever, slowing the process of sucking every last damn Dalek and Cyberman into nothingness. Rose chose to fix the lever but couldn't hold on. She was flying towards the Void when her father saved her. I couldn't get her back. I managed to say good-bye but it was terrible."

"So you never got to see her again."

The Doctor shook his head, another smile lighting his face. "You don't know Rose Tyler. She's stubborn, that one."

Once again the Doctor delved into the story of Rose, telling Amy about the Daleks, Davros, and the Reality Bomb. He told her of Donna Noble, the most important woman in all of creation and how she managed to save the world. Amy seemed to like the sassy ginger when the Doctor told her how Donna was. Donna didn't take the Doctor's crap just like Amy.

"Donna touched my hand and created a meta-crisis. Part Time Lord, part human. When the worlds began closing again, I took Rose back to the parallel world and left her with the meta-crisis. I gave her the chance to live with a version of myself but the meta-crisis only had one heart. They could grow old together. The one adventure I can never have."

Amy put her hand on the Doctor's leg, not speaking. She sat in silence with him, giving him her unspoken support. She could understand why he had such a hard time forgetting Rose Tyler. She seemed like an incredible person and one whom the Doctor loved, though he would never admit it.

What was hard for Amy was that the Doctor obviously still had feelings for this unknown person. Yet he was married to her daughter. Of course the Doctor's relationship with River was an odd one, with their timelines being so mixed up. But the fact that the Doctor's heart, or part of it, still belonged to Rose bothered her. Amy decided not to voice their thoughts. The Doctor obviously had a complicated past and he probably loved before River and even Rose. Hadn't he said he had been a grandfather?

"It was the right thing to do. You gave her a life she couldn't have had traveling with you in the TARDIS."

The Doctor nodded. "I know I did. It was difficult but my life is full of difficult choices." That was the understatement of the century. He turned to Amy and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you for listening Pond. Now," he clapped his hands and jumped off the bed, ready to escape again, "let's go do something fun."

* * *

The Valeyard paced in his office. He noticed that Rose was doing the same thing in his room. She seemed to have a light, gold aura around her; vortex energy being released in her highly agitated state. Proof that she had the power in her. Proof that she could do so much, save so much, be so much. At the moment he wanted to walk in there and shake her to make her see sense. Why was she making everything so difficult? Why did she insist on being so stubborn? Didn't she know she could save herself a lot of pain and misery by just helping him?

"Dammit!" he turned and punched the wall. The drywall cracked and a nice hole formed where his fist had made contact. It surprised him how much it hurt. He looked at his bleeding knuckles curiously. He was no stranger to pain but he had not expected it to hurt like it did. He shook his hand a little and began pacing again. This little human, or whatever she actually was, was going to drive him mental.

There was a knock on the door. The Valeyard did not want to be bothered. He grabbed the door handle and yanked it open. The door slammed against the wall with a loud bang. The agent at the door jumped slightly.

"What do you want?" the Valeyard demanded.

"There was an alien landing not far from London. We're not sure what it is or what it wants."

"Go get it and bring it here," the Valeyard snarled and slammed the door in the agent's face. He forced himself to take a deep breath. Maybe a rogue alien was what he needed. He needed to vent his rage somewhere and this alien was the perfect opportunity.

* * *

Rose stood in the huge shower in the Valeyard's bathroom. It was a six foot by six foot shower with shower-heads that poured down like rain. Jets were set into the walls to spray waters horizontally and when you stood in the middle you were hit by water on all sides. There was also a bench seat against one wall that also had the rain showers. Rose moved over to it and sat down under one of the faucets. The warm water felt wonderful and for a moment she chose to simply sit there trying to just be.

She knew she had made the Valeyard angry earlier and she feared that anger. Would he actually give her 48 more hours? He was so unpredictable. His rages were fierce and he didn't hold back his power. In those moments, he was the Oncoming Storm. With the Doctor she was able to help him control his anger. She could bring him back to reality, to remember what he stood for and why he chose his name. But with the Valeyard she had been unable to do anything to stop him. When dealing with aliens who threatened him and Earth he would instantly become violent. In the beginning he went by the name of Doctor but all too soon he had stopped being the Doctor.

They had been on a mission with Torchwood when she died for the first time. It had been a shock for both of them. Everything had gone downhill from there.

_Rose sat up quickly, gasping for breath. The Doctor hovered over her with worry written all over his face. He held her head in his hands before kissing her fiercely. She melted into that kiss, the kiss from the man she loved. And he was a damn good kisser at that. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he pulled her to a standing position. He seemed to need to touch her, to know she was real. _

"_What happened?" Rose asked when they finally broke apart. _

"_Do you not remember?" the Doctor asked. He began looking her over, looking for signs of injury or pain. "You were just impaled by flying debris from the collapsing building." He pointed to her left where a shard of metal lay covered in blood. _

"_Huh. I don't remember that." Her head felt funny and trying to remember hurt._

"_Rose, you were dead. Then you started to glow gold and the metal just fell out. The gold became more intense and you disappeared into it."_

"_Gold?"_

"_Yes! Gold light and dust. Then all of a sudden it disappeared and there you were, laying there alive and breathing."_

"_What does this mean?"_

_The Doctor ran his hands through his hair. He looked her over once more, closely examining when the metal rod had entered her body. Rose could practically see his mind working, trying to figure out a complex problem he could not understand._

"_I don't know how this is possible but…I think you regenerated."_

_The words were shocking to hear. Regenerated? But she couldn't possibly regenerate. She wasn't a Time Lord. Rose put her hands on her chest and found only one heartbeat. She almost didn't believe that she had died until she looked down at her clothes. They were torn to shreds and covered in blood. She looked up at the Doctor in confusion and fear._

"_Doctor. I still have one heart. I still look like me. What does this mean?" she asked, "What does this mean?" _

"_I don't know. But we are going to find out."_

Rose pulled herself out of the memory. She didn't want to think anymore. She didn't want to dwell in memories and feelings. She wanted to sink into the warmth of the water and just be. Her wolf appeared, smaller than before, and lay down next to rose on the bench. She rested her head on Rose's leg and let out a little growl. It was a playful growl and the sound was soothing. Rose rested her head on the shower wall, closed her eyes, and simply existed.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sooo, this has a little mature content. Thank you for the favorites, follows, and reviews! Enjoy.**

Chapter 7

* * *

Rose lay back on the grassy hill. She didn't know what planet she was on but it had three suns and the grass was a rusty orange. Mountains stood in the distance and the breeze made the heat from the suns bearable. Laying here was absolutely wonderful. The scenery was beautiful and relaxing. She took in a deep breath and reveled in the feeling of her lungs expanding.

_Peace. This is was peace feels like._

Gold light flashed a woman appeared before Rose. It was the same woman Rose had seen the last time she had been on this planet. Her hair was black and messy and her dress seemed a little out there. Rose frowned at the woman. Here she was again, interrupting her peace.

"Rose Tyler."

"That's me," Rose replied shortly.

"I need you to listen to me."

"I really don't want to hear it. I just want to sit here and enjoy myself. Go away."

"Rose Tyler, you must listen to me. You are needed. Bad Wolf is needed."

"Who are you?" Rose asked as she sat up.

"I'm the TARDIS." The woman sank down next to Rose on the grass so they were at eye level.

"You're the TARDIS? What are you doing here?"

"You need to get back home. The Doctor needs you."

Rose's face instantly went flat. "I think the Doctor can do just fine without me."

The TARDIS shook her head sadly. "No, he cannot."

"Look, I don't really care anymore. I've stopped caring a long time ago. My focus right now is to get home."

The TARDIS nodded. She had a grave expression on her face. Rose wondered why she chose such an eccentric form. "You must save my sister. Once she is strong enough, you can use her to travel across the Void to get home."

"You're sister? As in the TARDIS here? I don't even know how to save her."

"You have always had the ability. You are Rose Tyler _and_ Bad Wolf. Use the power of Bad Wolf to save her. Come home."

"But I can't access all of her power. How am I supposed to save her?"

"You will discover the way." The TARDIS stood. "But you must be careful. The power of Bad Wolf is strong and can overwhelming. Do not let yourself to become lost in the power. And another thing, you cannot allow the Valeyard to use you. Do not give in to him. He must stay in this universe. You must cross the Void alone."

Rose stood also. Her brain felt like it was being overwhelmed with this information. She desperately wanted to know more but she also felt that she could not take it.

"I can't escape him."

The TARDIS took Rose's hands in hers and smiled. "You can do anything you set your mind too. Save my sister and come home. I miss my Wolf." And with that, the TARDIS disappeared in a flash of gold light.

* * *

The Doctor sat in Central Park, looking at the last pages of "The Angel's Kiss" written by Melody Malone. His hearts felt like they were being ripped from his body. The Ponds were gone. He was all alone. How could this have happened again? Why did one Angel have to survive? It was his curse. He was cursed to forever lose those he loved. Rose, Martha, Donna, Rory, and Amy were his most recent. But the list of people lost was long. So very long.

And why? Why was this curse still following him? Was it his actions in the Time War? It had to be. It was the only explanation.

He was tired, so tired of the pain that plagued him. It was time to retire. No more saving the world. No more companions. No more risking innocent lives. It would be him and his TARDIS. His TARDIS, his constant companion. At least she never left him. She would always be there for him and he would always be there for her.

He made his way slowly towards his TARDIS, contemplating on whether or not he should throw the book away. He had such a strong desire to chuck it into the Hudson River and banish any memories of Amy again. But he had one stop to make before he went into his isolation. There was a girl in a garden waiting for him.

* * *

The Valeyard walked into his office and threw away the paper towels he had been using to dry his hands. Blood could be so difficult to get off sometimes. He'd gotten nothing useful out of the alien other than an attempt to destroy London. The creature hadn't held up well in interrogation so the Valeyard had mercifully ended his life. Then he sent his agents off after any others left on the planet. He didn't really care too much about an alien invasion but while he was living here he didn't want to deal with the difficulties. It's best to exterminate the little buggers before they became an issue.

One positive outcome of the interrogation was he had managed to calm down. He turned on the video stream for his rooms and found Rose sleeping again. He was getting tired of sitting in this room staring at her instead of actually being with her. She was running out of time. She needed to make a decision.

He rewound the feed and stopped when he found Rose sitting in his shower. She was beautiful. Her hair, now a natural blonde after her first regeneration, was plastered to her skin and water rolled down her naked body. The Valeyard groaned. It had been so very long since he'd touched her intimately. He just wanted to be with her, hold her in his arms, feel her body tremble with pleasure, be inside her. The need to be with her body and mind was becoming unbearable.

Rose stood and turned off the shower faucets. She grabbed the towel and wrapped it around her body. He switched cameras and followed her movements through his bedroom. He hadn't laid any clothes out on the bed for her this time. He wanted her to see something.

Rose stepped towards the dresser and opened the top drawer. It was full of knickers and bras. She closed that drawer and moved down one. The second drawer had jeans folded neatly in stacks. The drawer below her jeans was full of night gowns and big t-shirts. Each successive drawer was filled with more clothes for her.

She stepped back, a look of shock on her face. It made the Valeyard smile. She turned to the closet and walked in. He switched cameras again and watched her eyes widen. His walk-in closet had changed. It was no longer only his things that occupied the space. Half of the closet contained dresses, gown, jackets, and more. A whole section of the wall was dedicated to shoes of all kinds.

Rose sat down on the bench in the middle of the closet. Her mouth was open. The Valeyard bathed in her shock and awe. He had done this while she had been sleeping the previous night. He'd added a little bit of sedative to her meal so she wouldn't wake while he worked.

He watched Rose stand and go back to the main bedroom. She grabbed a pair of knickers and a big t-shirt. She dressed and climbed into his king-size bed. Rose lay there not moving, obviously deep in thought. He watched her until she eventually fell asleep. Then he turned off the monitor and sighed.

The memory of their first time together was sharp in the Valeyard's mind. He could never forget that first night when they'd finally given in to their need for more.

_Rose stood in the kitchen, cleaning up their dishes from the dinner they had managed to cook. The Doctor was not used to the domestic scene and he was finding cooking to be particularly challenging. Rose had tried to help but so far their attempts had not been very successful. Tonight they'd managed a simple pasta with red sauce and tried to bake some bread sticks. The pasta was good. The bread sticks were stuck to the cooking sheet and Rose was still trying to scrap the stuck portions off. _

"_One day we will manage to get this right," Rose said as she scrubbed with all her strength. The Doctor stood back, looking amused. She looked very cute, working so hard to clean a pan that seemed beyond repair. _

"_We could just throw it away and buy a new one," the Doctor suggested. _

_Rose turned and gave him a scathing look. "No! I will fix this," she told him firmly and turned her back to him. _

_The Doctor smiled and walked up behind her, pulling her into a tight embrace. They had been going very slow but the slow pace was beginning to drive him mad. Rose froze in his arms before relaxing against him. He reached over and turned the water off for her. She turned in his arms and looked deep into his eyes. He knew in that moment that she was as ready as he was. _

_Their lips met, softly at first, before deepening into a passionate kiss neither had experienced before. Rose pressed her body into his and ran her fingers through his hair. He reveled in the feel of her hands and the closeness. They began to make their way clumsily to the bedroom. There were a few run-ins with the walls but they only laughed and continued their passionate kissing. _

_Rose pulled back from the Doctor and he groaned. His breathing was ragged and he forced himself to pause to simply take in her beauty. Rose smiled at him, sticking her tongue between her teeth. _

"_Are you sure?" the Doctor asked. Rose nodded and that's all he needed. He kicked off his trainers, threw his jacket unceremoniously onto the floor and began to unbutton his shirt. _

"_No," Rose said and she beckoned him to her. He couldn't resist her. "Let me."_

_She slowly undid each button, obviously enjoying the tension she was creating. Her fingers brushed his bare chest and he jerked forward. She smiled again and slowly, ever so slowly, peeled her shirt off. His body tightened and he couldn't take it anymore. His lips crashed down on hers as he pushed her down on the bed. He growled at the clothes that impeded their progress. Rose actually laughed. _

_And then Rose lay beneath him, naked and glorious. Their eyes met and the Doctor naturally reached out with him mind like he would with another Time Lord. To his shock and wonder, her mind met his. Sensations overwhelmed him but what he felt most was love, her love for him. Rose's eyes widened as she felt his mind connect with hers. He smiled and entered her slowly. She let out a gasp of surprise and he paused, letting her get used to the feel of him. _

_He went slowly at first, allowing her to become accustomed to his presence. She urged him to go faster and he didn't need telling twice. He moved faster, building into a smooth rhythm. Rose moved with him flawlessly. They were one, together, mind, body, and soul. The Doctor had never felt so close with anyone else before. _

_Rose let out a gasp as the orgasm tore through her body and she called his name. A moment later the Doctor joined her in the spiral of pleasure. For a moment they just lay there, trembling, listening to the sound of their heavy breathing. The Doctor retreated from Rose's mind. It was almost painful to break that connection. He rolled over and lay on the bed next to her. _

"_Well, I'd say our relationship has gone to the next level," Rose said. He heard the smile by her tone. _

"_Yes. I would have to agree with you."_

_They broke out laughing. Rose rolled over and laid her head on his chest. He felt at peace in that moment and he never wanted it to end. _

"_I love you Doctor," Rose said after a while. _

"_I love you too Rose Tyler."_

The Valeyard smiled. Such a good memory. He could replay it in his mind perfectly. How he wanted to experience that with her again. He had put clothes for Rose into his room so she could feel at home. He needed her to be comfortable, to accept him, to love him again. It had been a long two years. Her time was running out and in the end she would bend to his will. He would have Rose and Bad Wolf and they would work together, be together, and run together once more.

* * *

Rose woke from her odd dream when she felt the bed move. She remained still and kept her breathing regular. Her back was to whoever was on the other side of the bed. It had to be the Valeyard. What was he doing here? What did he want? The familiar feeling of fear crept over her but she forced herself to stay calm.

The Valeyard moved her hair from her face gently and brushed his lips over her cheek.

"I love you so much," he breathed into her ear. The bed moved once more as he made himself comfortable.

Rose rolled over and looked at his silhouette. It hurt to be so close to him. Her heart and mind couldn't agree and it was driving her mad. How could she possibly decide what to do? And what about her dream? Why did she continue to have such odd dreams? And were they real? Did she actually dream of the TARDIS? Was it just her missing the TARDIS after the run-in with the baby TARDIS? What in the hell was she going to do?

She sighed and forced her mind to stop thinking. Sleep. She needed sleep. Rose laid there until she floated away into unconsciousness.


	8. Chapter 8

**a/n: Sorry this too so long. I had a hard time writing it down but here it is. Read and review my awesome peoples. **

Chapter 8

* * *

Rose woke slowly. She had slept unbelievably well. It took her a moment to realize that her head was not resting on a pillow. She sat up quickly and moved to opposite corner of the bed. The Valeyard was lying there smiling at her retreat. Rose felt the panic rising in her but she forced herself to remain calm.

"How did you sleep?" he asked as he sat up slowly.

Rose didn't reply. She didn't know what to say. Being this close to him without knowing what he wanted was setting her on edge.

The Valeyard ignored her silence. "Personally, I haven't slept that well in over two years." He got out of bed and Rose was thankful to see he was wearing long pajama pants. She watched him carefully, not letting him out of her sight.

"I'm going to go take a shower. Want to join me?" he gave her a wicked smile. "Of course you don't. But that's okay. Just sit here and figure out what you want to do today."

This broke Rose's silence, "What?"

"We are going to do something fun today. I want you to decide what you want to do. We can go to the cinema or go for a picnic. Think about it and let me know what you would like to do."

Rose opened her mouth the reply but couldn't find the words. The Valeyard gave her a quick smile and went into the bathroom. Rose could only stare after him. Her mind was reeling. These sudden mood swings of the Valeyard's were giving her whiplash.

She didn't move for the duration of the Valeyard's shower. Her mind was oddly blank. When he came out of the bathroom, he wore only a towel around his waist. Rose forced herself to look away from him. He may have the body of the man she had once loved but he was not the man she had fallen in love with.

He went into the closet to get dressed and reappeared in his usual black suit. "It's a gorgeous day outside. Would you like to go to the park?"

"What's the catch?" Rose asked suspiciously.

"No catch. You haven't been in the sun for a while now. I think the fresh air would do you some good. It will certainly help clear your mind. Now, get dressed in something comfortable. It's a bit windy."

Once the Valeyard left, Rose began the slow process of getting ready. It had been so long since she'd had to get dressed and be presentable to the outside world. It felt odd to pick out regular clothes and put trainers on her feet. She decided on a simple pair of jeans and a soft green sweater. The materials felt odd on her skin. Her body just wasn't used to regular clothes anymore.

The Valeyard returned a few minutes after Rose was done getting ready. He held out his arm and Rose placed her hand at the crook of his elbow. At first she was hesitant. She was so close to him and it made her feel very uncomfortable; in the end she was grateful for it. The trainers made her clumsy, her feet unused to being constrained. It took her a little while to get used to walking with them again. The Valeyard was patient and helped her by walking slowly down the winding halls.

When they finally made it to the front doors of the Torchwood building, Rose paused. She was afraid again. Was this a trick? What was he planning? The Valeyard seemed to know what she was thinking and smiled at her.

"This is not a trick my love. Let's go." Then he opened the door.

Fresh air washed over her. She stepped out into the sun and stood there in awe. It had been so long since she had seen the outside world. So long since she had felt the sun on her face. A smile broke on her face and she laughed. The laughter sounded odd to her ears. How long had it been since she'd laughed?

The Valeyard helped her into the black SUV before climbing into the driver's seat. Rose felt like a child again, discovering the world for the first time. She touched the leather of the interior, rubbed her palms over the smooth dashboard, felt the air blow from the a/c vents. She rolled down her window and stuck her head out as the Valeyard pulled away from the tower and towards their destination.

Rose forced herself to take everything in. There were people, real people. Pedestrians walked on the sidewalk, going about their business. A child was having a temper tantrum in front of a shop. His mother seemed unfazed by his tears; instead she seemed to be telling him off for making a scene. These people would never know the secrets of the true world. They wouldn't know about aliens and Time Lords and the many things she had experienced.

For a moment she envied their ignorance. But she couldn't stay envious for long. The Doctor had opened her eyes to the universe and she could never go back to her old life, working in a shop, barely making ends-meet. Despite her awful situation, she didn't regret accepting the Doctor's offer to travel through space and time with him.

They pulled into a park full of trees and grass. The Valeyard helped her out of the car and went to the boot to get the picnic basket. Rose remained rooted to the spot. The gravel beneath her feet crunched when she moved. It was such an odd sound. She picked up a rock and wondered at the texture of it. It was small and rough and Rose was fascinated by it. She could not explain why she found this little rock so interesting. Instead of searching for the answer, she simply slipped the rock into her pocket.

The Valeyard walked through the grass until they came to a clearing. Rose followed him slowly, trying to take everything in. She took a deep breath and reveled in the feel of the air in her lungs. While the Valeyard laid out the blanket and unpacked the basket, Rose stood in the grass with her arms spread out and her head thrown back. The wind ran its fingers through her untidy blonde hair, tossing it about like a playful child. She smiled again and soaked in all the sensations: the sun warming her face, the wind in her air, the laughter of the children on the football field, the solidity of the earth beneath her feet.

"Are you hungry?" the Valeyard asked after a while.

Rose seemed to come back to reality and look at the Valeyard. He had given her a gift. She felt alive for the first time in so long. She hadn't even realized how much she had missed all of this. Despite everything he'd done to her, she couldn't help but feel grateful. In the back of her mind she knew something was up but at the moment she didn't care.

She joined him on the blanket and dug in to the food he'd brought. She kept her mind in the present. She forced herself to forget the horrors of the past and the possibilities of the future. She was Rose Tyler and she was alive. This was a normal day and she was with a normal guy. The Valeyard was not a part-human part-Time Lord and Rose was not a being with untapped power.

The Valeyard followed her lead and pretended to be the man he wasn't. He pretended that he was on a simple date with a fantastic woman. He was doing this for Rose. Rose needed this. She needed to remember what her life could be like if she made the right decision.

They talked about nothing and watched the football game in the distance. Eventually Rose fell silent and lay back on the grass. The Valeyard didn't push her into conversation. Instead he lay next to her, his head almost touching hers. Both stared up at the cloudless sky, letting their thoughts wander away.

Rose wasn't sure what she was going to do. Her dream with the TARDIS still came to mind but she wasn't sure if it was simply a dream or if the TARDIS had really visited her. Every fiber of her being wanted to help the baby TARDIS in Torchwood tower but at what cost? She'd be giving into the Valeyard at last. True, these past few days had been wonderful. He had treated her well and had provided her with comfortable bed, clothes, and regular showers. But how long would that last?

_If he starts torturing me again, will I survive with my mind intact?_

The Valeyard could practically feel Rose's mind turning next to him. She was thinking hard which is what he wanted her to do. In his mind, the decision was a simple one. Who would choose the torture over the comfort and love? But this was Rose he was talking about and she was beyond complicated. It was one of the reasons he loved her. Whatever her decision, he would get what he wanted in the end. He was a patient man. It comes with being a Time Lord and despite his single heart he was a Time Lord.

When the sun began to sink in the sky, they proceeded to clean up their little picnic. Rose was still in turmoil. The decision should be easy. It should be but there was some small part in her that was stubborn, that didn't want to give in. Giving in to the Valeyard would mean he'd won. But how could she go back after getting a taste of what her life could truly be.

They drove back in silence. Rose didn't look around in wonder again. She was going back to her prison. When she stepped out of the car and through the doors, Rose cast one last look behind her before the world was closed off to her.

The Valeyard didn't say anything as they walked through the corridors. Rose followed him meekly; her mind racing as she wondered what was going to happen next. It was decision time. He would be expecting her answer. But what was her answer? What was her answer?

He stopped next to a door. It was like any other door but Rose knew where she was. She recognized it. She had been down this particular hallways many times. This door had been thrown open many times before. It was her old room. Icy fear coursed through her veins. What was he planning? She looked to his face but it was blank, betraying none of his thoughts.

"It's time for you to decide what you are going to do Miss Tyler." He gave her a piercing stare and took a step forward, looming over her.

"I-I don't know," Rose stammered. She backed up until she was flat against the wall. She could feel his anger like a weight pressing down around her.

"I've given you plenty of time. Maybe you need a little more persuasion?"

"No! Please no," she cried. The Valeyard took another step towards her. She couldn't escape. She slid down the wall and curled into a ball with her arms over her head.

He snapped his fingers and two agents appeared. They grabbed each of her arms and pulled her up. She struggled fruitlessly. The two agents weren't even fazed by her struggles. The Valeyard looked at her with dead eyes; all his emotions and thoughts were pulled behind a veil and he had become the monster. Rose was intimately familiar with the monster.

"Take her," he said flatly.

Rose screamed. "Please no! Valeyard, please. Please!" The agents were dragging her. Rose tried to kick and wrench from their grasp but it was no use. She was going back to the torture room. The room with the drain. The room full of her blood and tears. Tears began to fall freely as her terror mounted.

The door opened and they strapped Rose onto a table. Someone pressed a button and the table began rise until it was completely vertical. Rose cried and begged but it fell onto deaf ears. A man walked in with a tray full of metal instruments and a blow torch. It didn't take much to imagine what would be in store for her.

"God please stop. Please don't."

The man ignored her. He seemed perfectly at ease, not even caring about what he was going to be doing. He placed the tray on the table and pulled on a pair of latex gloves. Rose watched as he picked up one metal instrument and began to heat it with the torch. The metal glowed red hot at the tip. Rose strained against her bonds as he moved closer to her.

"No. I'm begging you. Please. Please!"

The man pressed the hot metal rod against her skin. Rose screamed out in agony. The metal seared her flesh and when the rod was pulled away, so was part of her skin. The pain was all consuming. Again and again the metal was pressed against her skin. Her stomach. Her legs. Her arms. Her chest.

"Valeyard!" Rose called out desperately. She couldn't take it anymore.

The door opened again and Rose looked up to see the Valeyard walk in. He seemed as calm as the man with the metal. Rose met his eyes and saw that they were still flat. He was still the monster. But monster or not, she was done.

"Yes?"

"Okay," Rose's voice cracked. She swallowed painfully and held the Valeyard's gaze. "I'll do anything. Just get me out of here. Please."

As if her words at triggered something in his mind, the Valeyard's entire demeanor changed. He wasn't stiff and his eyes were full of life again. He smiled at her and any trace of the monster within him disappeared.

Rose felt something inside her break.


	9. Chapter 9

**a/n: Ah! So many ideas and getting them into words seems to be difficult at the moment. Anyways, thanks to my followers, favoriters (my new word), and reviewers. You guys rock. **

Chapter 9

* * *

The Valeyard unstrapped Rose from the table and caught her before she fell to the ground. He lifted her in his arms and carried her to the next room. It was set up as a mini-hospital. The Valeyard placed Rose gently on the hospital bed and then moved about the room, gathering materials from drawers.

"What are you doing?" Rose asked wearily. Pain still jabbed at her with every breath. She lay on her back, trying to clear her head and accept the reality of what she had just done.

"I'm going to kill you again," he said simply.

For some reason Rose found she wasn't surprised. Being weak wouldn't help him or the TARDIS. He needed her back to her healthy self. She welcomed death. She'd wanted to die for many months now but he hadn't allowed it. He'd always brought her to the brink of death before backing off. That, in and of itself, was torture.

"Okay."

The Valeyard filled a syringe full of sedative and another filled with poison. The poison would enter her system and stop her heart. She wouldn't feel any pain and it would make her regeneration quicker and less messy.

"Now Rose, we must come to an agreement. I've saved you from my agents but you can always go back. I want your word that you will not disobey me and you will not try to run away. You have to agree to work with me to save the TARDIS and to return to our universe."

"You know I will listen to you Valeyard. I said I would." Rose told him. She didn't want to go back to the hell that was her life for the last year.

The Valeyard's smile wasn't kind; it was sharp and calculating.

"I'd rather not chance it." He put his hands on her temples and pushed into her mind with his. Rose gasped as he pushed through her feeble defenses. He stared deep into her eyes. Gold flared and he knew he was looking at the Wolf. Her gold wolf appeared at Rose's side but he ignored it and its growling.

Rose's mental defenses, once so strong, were weak and easily penetrable. She didn't stand a chance. The Wolf fought but the Valeyard was bound and determined to make sure she obeyed. He would not lose this battle.

"Rose Tyler, give me your word that you will obey all of my commands."

Rose struggled mentally but was completely immobile. The wolf pressed against Rose's thigh but the strength she tried to provide was not enough to prevent the Valeyard.

"I will," she said.

"You will do everything in your power to help me heal and grow the TARDIS and get us back to our universe."

"I will."

"You will be my wife and love me again." The Valeyard bore down on Rose's mind as he said this command.

Rose fought. A part of her was slipping away. He was taking her free will away. Was this his goal all along? Could he force her to love him again? She tried to keep the words in but they came of their own accord.

"I will."

"You are bound to me," the Valeyard said, holding on to her mind while he plunged the needled into her arm, emptying the sedative into her body. Rose's struggled against the encroaching darkness. She didn't know what was going to happen. Who would she be when she woke from this regeneration? Would her oaths mean anything after her body had been seared and healed by the regeneration energy?

A small part of her knew the answer. The Valeyard knew what he was doing. He was a Time Lord after all. She would awake with her oaths firmly in place in her mind.

_I'm sorry,_ she said to Bad Wolf, _I'm not strong enough. _

Rose felt the warmth of her wolf by her side before falling into darkness.

* * *

The Doctor stood his bathroom, his hands on either side of the sink, his eyes focused on the mirror on the wall. He looked pale and diminished. His eyes were sunken and it was obvious that he'd not slept in a very long time. Sadness engulfed him as he thought of his losses and his current situation. This sadness didn't last long; instead being replaced by rage. It overwhelmed him, making his body shake. He punched the mirror with all his strength and it shattered into hundreds of pieces. Pain struck him as the mirror fragments split the skin on his knuckles. He stared at the blood in shock.

"Fuck. That hurts a bit," he said to no one. He'd gotten into the habit of talking to himself. It wasn't a good habit and he had a feeling that his isolation would eventually drive him crazy. At the moment he didn't care. Craziness would be better than the hollow, empty feeling in his chest.

He wrapped his hand in a bandage and made his way to the console room. At least he had the TARDIS. If only she could respond to his questions. If only she could talk to him as she had when she'd been contained inside the human woman.

There were a few loose wires under one of the control panels that needed fixing. He sat down and pulled out his screwdriver. Fixing the TARDIS had become his life. Tinkering and working on any possible problems filled the hours of loneliness. He felt like a different person now. He'd even stopped wearing bowties. What did it matter anymore? What did anything matter?

His mind did wander back to the girl he'd met earlier in the day. He'd been on the ground for an errand and happened to meet her, Clara. It was a nice name. She had sparked his interested for a moment but he was determined not to get pulled in by another person.

The snowmen bothered him as well. Something odd was going on.

"Not my problem," the Doctor said forcefully and put Clara and the snowmen out of his mind. He gave up on tinkering and grabbed a book. Books were good distractions.

The phone rang and he looked at it evilly. Madame Vastra knew he did not want to be bothered. What could the reptilian woman want? Or was it Potato Dwarf again? The Doctor always answered her calls but he hated it.

"Yes? What? I'm trying to read."

"Miss Clara and her concerns about the snow," Vastra said, "I gave her the one word test."

The Doctor snorted. "That's always pointless. What did she say? Well? Well?

Vastra paused for a moment before answering. "Pond."

Shock shot through the Doctor's body.

"Strax has already suggested where to start investigating."

* * *

The Valeyard caught Rose as unconsciousness overcame her. He laid her gently on the bed and looked at her with a smile on his face. He moved her hair out of her face to see her fully. She was beautiful, even in her weakened state.

The gold wolf didn't disappear when Rose blacked out. Instead she grew larger and let out a low, ominous growl. The Valeyard looked at the wolf with a raised eyebrow. Her hackles were raised, her back humped, and her lupine lips were pulled back, revealing long teeth. He knew that the wolf was some sort of manifestation of Bad Wolf. He would have thought she'd disappear when Rose went under.

"Calm down Wolf. I'm not going to do anything to her."

She snarled again and took a step towards him. The Valeyard simply looked into the gold eyes with a bored expression on his face. He felt a tingle of fear run down his spine but he wouldn't let it show. He didn't know if Bad Wolf would hurt him. Could the gold wolf even hurt him? Rose had just bound herself to him but he wasn't sure how deep the connection was with her alter ego. Rose seemed to only have a small amount of access to the time energy except when she regenerated and the time she'd sent her family into the Vortex.

"Emotions!" the Valeyard cried in exhilaration. "Of course. How could I be so stupid?"

Every time Rose had been in a highly emotional state, her access to the Time Vortex grew wider. He'd seen it for himself. She'd had a gold aura just the other day. Her eyes flashed with gold when her emotions were high, especially angry. The wolf appeared when Rose needed comfort or in her defense. Everything came back to Rose's feelings, her deep emotions. She'd looked into the heart of the TARDIS to save him, risking her life for him for God's sake. All of it seemed to trigger Bad Wolf into action.

If only he knew how to access it. Bad Wolf had to be hidden in the recesses of her mind. He should be able to find it with enough searching. Bad Wolf had to be behind some sort of protective wall. Her power was strong and could possibly overpower Rose so a wall had to have been constructed to protect Rose.

These revelations were like a breath of fresh air. Finally. Finally he was getting somewhere. He was moving forward with Rose. He was finally back on the road towards his goal; no longer waiting at the rest stop. It had been a long wait. It had been torturously long. But now he had Rose on his side. Rose's oaths bound her to him. Her resistance was gone and they could work together now without her fighting him tooth and nail.

The gold wolf had leapt onto the bed, hovering over Rose. The Valeyard looked at her before picking up the syringe filled with the poison. Apparently she didn't want him to kill Rose. How odd considering that it would help Rose. He looked at the wolf curiously.

"I'm only going to help her," he told the wolf.

The wolf let out a low warning growl. He ignored it and stepped closer to Rose, ready to get a move on. She finally settled on Rose's chest rested her head between her paws. Her ears remained erect and her eyes followed the Valeyard's every movement. The Valeyard didn't know what to make of it but decided he didn't care.

He plunged the needle into her arm and emptied the syringe with the push of his finger. In a few minutes her body would absorb the poison and slowly stop her heart. He watched the wolf, wondering what would happen to her when Rose died. They stared into each other's eyes and waited. After a few minutes the wolf rose, lifted her head back, and let out a long howl. Her song spread through the room, wrapping around the Valeyard. He felt it deep in his soul. It was a song of protection, a song of love, a song of beauty, a calling.

The wolf began to glow. Gold light surrounded her and soon encased Rose. As the golden aura began to surround them both, the howl grew louder, as if calling to someone or something. The Valeyard had to step back from the bright light of the energy. He raised his arm to protect his eyes from the brilliance radiating from the hospital bed. This was not a normal regeneration. He'd seen every regeneration Rose had had. This seemed stronger, deeper, more healing than the others.

The gold light turned white and the Valeyard had to shut his eyes to prevent himself from going blind. He could feel the time energy and the heat. It was a wonderful feeling to be so close to it. He felt for a moment as if he was standing in his TARDIS again, floating through the Vortex. In the distance he felt something new. It was the growing TARDIS, reaching towards Rose telepathically. He didn't know how he knew, but he did. The baby TARDIS felt stronger than ever before and he laughed. Whatever was going on was, it felt as good to his TARDIS as it did for him.

Eventually the blinding light dimmed and he was able to open his eyes. Rose hovered in the air, surrounded in a cocoon of gold light and dust. Her hair moved as if in a strong wind. For a long moment she floated there, looking at peace in her sleep. Slowly the cocoon lowered and vanished. Rose lay on the bed looking completely healthy. All scars had vanished and her famished body was filled out. She looked healthy and alive.

Suddenly she bolted upright and gasped. She looked around her for in panic. It was always like that when she regenerated. She'd forget where she was and what had happened. It usually took a few breaths before she calmed down and came back to reality.

Rose's mind finally settled down and she could concentrate. Hospital room? Yes. How? Not a real hospital, just a medical room. The Valeyard had brought her. Valeyard? Who? Where?

"I'm right here Rose," the Valeyard said softly.

Rose's eyes met his and reality slammed into place. Memories flooded back and normality returned.

"How do you feel?"

Rose checked in with her body. She felt great! She hadn't felt so good in such a long time. She stretched, enjoying the feel of each muscle and its strength.

"I'm good. I'm really good," Rose told him and smiled. Finally she was normal again. Finally she was truly alive again. She wasn't stuck in a body that could barely function. She wanted to dance, wanted to sing, wanted to run down the halls and rejoice. This euphoric feeling wouldn't last long and she wanted savor ever moment of it.

"Fantastic."

Rose looked at him sharply, instantly reminded of the man with the leather jacket and the big ears. The Valeyard knew the word would trigger a response and he smiled. Her first Doctor held a spot in her heart. He was the first and he had saved her. Her love with the second was just as strong but the man with the goofy ears had started it all.

"Let's go get you changed and get you something to eat."

The Valeyard held out his hand and Rose looked at it suspiciously. What was he up too?

_He loves you and wants to take care of you, _a voice spoke in her mind. _You love him too._

Yes, she did love him. Right? Why did that thought feel so wrong?

"Rose?"

Rose took his hand and hopped off the bed. He smiled at her and she felt herself smile back. It felt natural and unnatural simultaneously. What was going on? Why did she feel so different?

_There is nothing different. Go with the Valeyard and be happy with the man you love._

Rose wasn't sure if she liked this new voice in her head but she figured it had to do with the new regeneration. It would calm down and everything would be fine. Right?

_Right._


	10. Chapter 10

**a/n: Hello to my lovely followers! I'm loving the awesome reviews. You guys make me so happy. I hope you enjoy this chapter. **

Chapter 10

* * *

The room was white with a thick, dark blue rug covering some of the hard tile floor. Two wooden chairs with straight backs sat in the middle of the room facing each other. Rose occupied one of these uncomfortable chairs; the Valeyard occupied the other.

"Valeyard," Rose whined, "What are we doing in this boring room?"

The Valeyard smiled. "This room is boring for a reason. It helps lessen distractions. Patience love. We are trying to get access to Bad Wolf so we can figure out how to help the TARDIS and get home."

Rose crossed her arms over her chest and frowned. It was an extremely childish move but Rose didn't seem to care. She didn't want to work right in the moment. She wanted to be with the Valeyard and she wanted to do something fun.

"Can we do something else first? I just regenerated. I have all this pent up energy and I want to use it. We should do something fun. Or something dangerous," Rose's eyes glowed gold for a moment, "There has to be some kind of alien problem going on right now."

The Valeyard rolled his eyes while noting the flash of gold at the mention of danger.

"No. And even if there were, my agents can take care of it. Now, please, sit still."

Rose didn't move. She found that she couldn't, the idea of moving would be horrible. If the Valeyard wanted to stay still, she would. It was odd. She'd never really followed anyone's commands. She'd been physically carried away when she refused to leave the Doctor on Krop Tor. She'd looked into the TARDIS when the Doctor sent her away. Despite all that, she felt that it would be devastating if she did go against the Valeyard's commands.

_It's because you love him. You don't want him to be unhappy._

Rose scowled. That voice again. What was that voice? Of course it was right. She had to obey the Valeyard. That's what he wanted. But was it right? She'd stopped loving him a long time ago. And he'd tortured her for so long. How could she love him?

_You've always loved him. You've just been running away from the feelings that scare you._

She wanted to tell the voice to shut up. It was making everything so much more confusing. She couldn't trust her thoughts or emotions anymore. This regeneration had to be different. She felt different. The voice was the most unsettling. It also bothered her that she couldn't remember what happened right before she regenerated. That had happened before but she'd never lost so much time. The last thing she could remember was the Valeyard saying he was going to kill her. Something told her that more had happened but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't remember.

"What's the matter?" the Valeyard asked.

Rose shook her head like a dog shaking off water. "I don't know. I feel weird. This regeneration is off. Something is different. I don't understand."

The Valeyard knew this regeneration had been different but he still wasn't sure what had actually happened. He couldn't explain it to Rose. Hell, he couldn't really explain it to himself. But he knew one thing; he would not tell her of her oaths. She didn't remember them and he did not plan on informing her.

"Nothing is different. You're still you. It's just been awhile since you've regenerated. You'll get used to it."

Rose didn't think she would.

_You will get used to it. Trust him. _

But then again, she would.

"Now, pay attention. We are going to try and access Bad Wolf. I need you to relax as I enter your mind."

"Okay," Rose said nervously.

The Valeyard put his hands over Rose's temples and closed his eyes. He reached out and moved past the weak barriers of her mind. Rose automatically reached out with her mind but found she could not move past any of the walls around his. It frustrated her to no end. She wanted that connection. It had been so long since she'd been able to reach out telepathically and now that she was actually willing to do it, the Valeyard wouldn't let her in.

The Valeyard felt Rose pushing against his mind but he ignored it. He wanted to connect with her like they used to but right now his main focus was getting to Bad Wolf. He didn't want to hurt Rose so he moved slowly, trying to be careful of how hard he pushed. Finally he found what he was looking for.

He could see a wall in the back of Rose's mind. It was the same golden hue of her wolf and her regenerations. There were large cracks in the containing wall and he knew that if he could push past those cracks, they'd have complete access to Bad Wolf. The wall must have been erected when he thought he'd taken all of the time energy from her on that fateful day. Bad Wolf must have hidden behind it until Rose regenerated the first time. It would make sense that cracks were forming as she gained access to more and more of the Bad Wolf's power.

Rose tried to remain as calm as possible. It felt so weird to have him so deep inside her mind. She had to force herself not to fight him. It was so intrusive and part of her, a very small part, was furious at what he was doing.

_There is no need for anger. You want him to do this. You want to save the TARDIS and go home. _

She thought about it for a moment and realized that she did want him to do this. He would be able to help her use Bad Wolf's power. Rose longed for that. She could remember when she'd become Bad Wolf. It had been amazing but dreadful at the same time. There had been so much pain. She wondered if she gained full access to Bad Wolf then she'd be in the same pain as she had the first time.

The Valeyard pushed against one of the cracks in the wall. The crack widened but only slightly. He pushed harder and harder until it widened more and more. Finally it split open and part of the barrier disappeared.

Rose cried out as white hot pain seared across her mind. The Valeyard was forced out so violently he rocked back onto his chair. He opened his eyes to see Rose screaming and clutching her head in her hands. She fell off the chair and continued to scream as tears poured down her face. Panicking slightly, the Valeyard ran to the medical room, grabbed a syringe full of sedative, and dashed back to Rose. She lay on the floor in a ball, sobbing and screaming. The Valeyard quickly injected the sedative into her body and waited for it to start working.

Slowly Rose's screams and crying died out. She lay completely motionless on the floor. He looked up when gold light flashed out of the corner of his eye. The gold wolf had appeared again. She was back in her largest state, the size of a grey wolf. She looked fierce and powerful and she glowed brightly. The wolf growled at the Valeyard when he began to wipe the dampness from her face. Rose was sleeping and no longer in pain, he didn't need the wolf's approval.

"Stop it. I'm taking care of her," he told the wolf firmly. Ignoring the continued growling, he picked Rose up and carried her to his rooms. The wolf followed him silently, her eyes boring into him.

The Valeyard laid Rose in the middle of his king size bed and crawled in next to her. On the other side, the wolf jumped up and stood next to Rose. He watched the wolf carefully, wondering what she would do. The wolf growled at him one more time before turning her attention to Rose. She approached Rose's head and carefully licked her eyes and then her lips. Rose let out a soft sigh and a slight smile appeared on her face. The wolf let out a snort and settled in next to Rose; the entire length of her body pressed against Rose's side. Rose curled against the wolf's body and rested one arm of top of her.

"Thank you," he said grudgingly to the wolf. He was happy that Rose was not in pain but it bothered him that the wolf had appeared to fix her. _He_ wanted to be able to fix her. He wanted Rose to curl up next to him and find comfort in him, not in her damn wolf.

The wolf lifted her head and snorted again before turning away from him. The Valeyard sighed and left the room and Rose behind him. He didn't like being around the wolf sometimes so he'd watch over Rose from his office. He could look after her from a distance.

* * *

Rose liked that she continued to return to this planet with its multiple suns, burnt grass, and purple flowers. In the distance she could see huge domes with cities inside them. She'd love to explore the city but she thought it best to keep her distance. Instead, she walked through the field while the wind swirled around her. She laughed as it pulled playfully at her hair while petals from the purple flowers floated around her. The heat from the suns warmed her to her very soul. This was peace. If only she could find this peace when she's awake.

"Rose?" someone called from behind her. She recognized the voice and the image of a man formed in her mind. She rolled her eyes, not wanting anyone to intrude on her peace.

"What?" she said without turned around.

"Rose, please look at me."

Rose sighed, turned around, and came face to face with the man who claimed to be the Doctor.

"What?" she said again.

"You're looking much better," the Doctor noted.

Rose rolled her eyes again. She looked the Doctor up and down, taking in his appearance. He still wore a bowtie and vest under a jacket. A watch on a chain was clipped to the front of his vest. He looked a bit silly to her.

"What. Do. You. Want?" Rose said each word slowly, as if talking to someone who spoke a different language.

The Doctor looked slightly offended but Rose didn't care. She didn't even know if this was the Doctor. Even if he was, she didn't care. Seeing this man in her safe place just pissed her off. Why could she not just be alone for once?

"I just wanted to talk. You're here. I'm here. Why can't we talk?"

"Because I don't want to talk! I want you to go away. I want to be alone."

"I don't understand. What happened to you? Why are you so angry?"

Rose laughed. It wasn't a happy laugh. It was a laugh full of pain and anger and disbelief. It spoke of the horrors she'd experienced within the last few years. It was harsh and chilling to the bone. The Doctor actually took a step back from the person who looked like Rose but wasn't Rose. Something had happened that had changed the woman he once knew. His Rose seemed to be gone.

"You happened to me! You trapped me in another universe and left me alone with _him_. You have no idea what I've been through. It is all your fault!" She'd told him this before but her anger towards him was tenfold now.

"What are you talking about?" the Doctor asked. He tried to step towards her but what he saw stopped him in his tracks. To his amazement, she began to glow. Her blonde hair turned gold. Gold dust floated around her like an aura. And her eyes. Her eyes were as gold as they'd been on the day she'd looked into the heart of the TARDIS.

The gold eyes bored into the Doctor and he fell to his knees. Tears streamed from his eyes as he observed her beauty. She wasn't just Rose. She was Rose and Bad Wolf and she was beautiful.

"Rose," he whispered. "How are you alive?"

"You didn't take Bad Wolf away. You just shut her away. I'm slowly getting more access to her. Eventually I will be able to use Bad Wolf to save the TARDIS and return home. And I'm doing it without your help."

Rose walked towards him slowly, her eyes never leaving his. She felt Bad Wolf within her like she never had before. She stopped a few steps from him and looked down upon him. She reached out with her mind and brushed his. Rose felt his fear, his awe, and so much more. There were no walls around his mind. There was no point. He couldn't fight the power of the Wolf.

"Rose. My god, Rose."

"I am strong enough without you now. You don't need to come to my rescue anymore. I can take care of myself. I will come home and you will not be happy to see me. You will regret what you've done to me. What you've done to Bad Wolf."

Rose reached out and touch his forehead with her index finger. In a flash of bright light the Doctor disappeared leaving Rose alone again. The gold faded from her and she smiled, going back to her fun. Alone.

* * *

The Doctor woke with a start as pain shot through his entire body. He gasped and tried to catch his breath. He touched his forehead, trying to feel if something was there. That's when he noticed the wetness on this face.

"That wasn't real. That couldn't possibly be real."

He struggled to stand and then stumbled to the bathroom. He looked at his reflection closely. A small red mark shone against the white of his skin. It was the exact size of a fingertip.

"Well," he said to the mirror, "that was definitely real."


	11. Chapter 11

**a/n: This chapter is a bit shorter than usual. I haven't been feeling too well. Hopefully it doesn't show in this chapter. :) As usual I would like to thank my reviewers, my followers, and those who've favorited this story. You guys rock. Enjoy!**

Chapter 11

* * *

Rose walked from the bathroom to the bedroom with a white towel wrapped around her body. The Valeyard hadn't been in the room when she woke up so she'd decided to take a shower. It had been a wonderful shower. Her body hurt from whatever had happened yesterday. All she remembered was pain coursing through her body. It was one of the worst pains she'd felt in her life, including the Valeyard's various torture methods.

Rose dropped the towel in front of the dresser and began to look through the drawers for something to wear. She'd just picked out some knickers when the Valeyard stepped out of the closet in just a pair of pajama pants. He stopped suddenly when he saw Rose standing there. Rose looked up and froze. It took her a moment to realize she was nude before she let out a small squeak and quickly covered herself with the towel she'd dropped.

Neither of them seemed to be able to find words. They simple stood there for a moment in awkward silence.

In two long strides the Valeyard stood before her. He looked down into Rose's face, his brown eyes meeting hers. Then he pulled her into his arms and crashed his lips down onto hers. Rose gasped at the sudden closeness and the feel of his lips on her. His tongue brushes against her lips, asking for entry. Rose obliged.

The taste of him was wonder and familiar. He was home to her. He was everything she wanted.

Rose was surprised by this sudden thought. She pulled away, noticing that she'd dropped the towel. She moved to pick it up again but the Valeyard stopped her. He looked at her curiously, the question clear on his face.

"This is wrong," Rose whispered.

_This is right._

"No Rose, it's not. It's just right."

His hands traveled down her back causing her breath to hitch. It did feel right. It was right. Her breasts pressed against his hard chest, warmth pooling in her belly as desire overcame her. She could feel the hard length of him pressed against her thigh, his desire as obvious as hers. She wanted him.

This is wrong, she thought.

_This is right. You want him. You want him._

The Valeyard didn't break eye contact with her. He wanted her so badly it was painful. The feel of her skin against his was driving him out of his mind. Their stillness was becoming unbearable. But he would not force this on her. He would not stoop to that level.

"Rose," the Valeyard said, "I will not force you. I need you but I will not force you."

Rose broke the eye contact but remained in his embrace. She rested her forehead on his chest, trying to understand what her mind and her heart were saying. She took a deep breath, inhaling his scent, trying to force herself into calm.

"I don't know," she said shakily.

The Valeyard lifted her chin so she could see him. "Reach out with your mind. Connect with me. Please. I need the connection. I need you to know."

Rose hesitated for a moment.

"Please," he begged.

Rose kept her eyes on him while she reached out. When she connected she was overwhelmed with sensations and feelings. She felt his desire. She felt his need for her. She felt his love. She felt things that she couldn't put into words. It was like the world had become clearer. It had been so long since they'd shared a connection, so long since she'd felt this alive, this connected to another being.

The Valeyard groaned when their minds merged. He felt like he was breathing for the first time. This was not the simple connection when he'd explore her mind. This was more, this was deeper, this was everything he wanted, everything he needed. He bent down and kissed her again, inviting her in.

'Please.'

Rose heard the word in her mind. She couldn't deny him. She couldn't deny herself.

'What are you waiting for?'

It was all the invitation that he need. He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around him. He kissed her like a starving man finding food; hungrily, greedily. Rose kissed him back as if she couldn't get enough. Passion flared between them and the Valeyard moved quickly to the bed. He dropped Rose on her back and quickly stripped off his pants and boxers. She laid there, eyes never leaving him, enjoying the view.

'Like what you see?' he asked through the connection.

'Only everything.' Rose grinned and winked.

The Valeyard took a moment to admire Rose's naked body. She shone with a light golden aura. It wasn't bright but it was there. Gold streaked through her brown irises. She was beautiful to behold. And she was his.

He moved onto the bed over her, bracing himself with his arms. He hovered over her with very little space between their bodies, his hard erection pressed against her but went no further.

"Valeyard," Rose moaned aloud.

The Valeyard smiled and thrust into her. She let out a gasp as pleasure rocketed through her body and her mind. He filled her completely and she wrapped herself around him. He moved slowly at first, heat building between them.

'Valeyard.'

He reveled in the feel of her mind merged with his. He moved faster and Rose matched his movements. The heat turned into fire and it burned between them. He thrust into her faster and faster as the tension built in their bodies.

"_Rose_," the Valeyard groaned.

They locked eyes and the Valeyard saw that they were gold. It was as if time froze for a moment. Looking into her eyes was like looking through time itself. It was beautiful and terrifying and he loved it.

The tension broke. Rose shuddered beneath him, her nails digging into his back as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through her body. The Valeyard wrapped his fingers in her hair as he emptied himself inside her.

Rose broke the mind link almost pulling a cry from the Valeyard. He felt empty without it. The world dulled and sank back into the mundane. He pulled out of her and fell to her side. They laid there in silence as their heart rates returned to normal.

Rose let out a contented sigh. This was going to make things slightly more complicated but in the moment she did not care. She didn't care about the future or the past. In this moment, she was just right.

* * *

The Doctor stared at the monitor with a frown on his face. Circular Gallifreyan was written across the screen but it told him nothing. He didn't even know what the hell he was looking for. He was too distracted.

He picked up the hand-held mirror he'd been walking around with since he'd woken up with the mark on his forehead. The red mark was gone but he kept checking it anyways. He kept expecting it to reappear and that would tell him what to do next. Instead he was stuck staring at a screen with no clue what to do next.

He had to get to Pete's universe. That's where Rose was and he had to get there. The only problem was the giant risk of destroying both universes by punching through the Void. There was a reason he hadn't been able to save her the first time. He could not sacrifice so many lives for Rose. She wouldn't forgive him if he tried. Yet Rose had said she was coming home.

_"You will regret what you've done to me. What you've done to Bad Wolf."_

The Doctor shivered as he remembered those haunting words. She'd said them with such certainty and fury. Rose was in trouble; there was no doubt about that. And somehow he'd caused it. In the first dream she'd told him it was his fault and she'd said it again in the latest dream. Who was this "him" she kept referring to?

The only person he could think of was his meta-crisis. What could his meta-self do to change Rose so drastically? The Doctor would never hurt Rose and he was sure that his meta wouldn't hurt her either. So it had to be someone else. It had to be.

The TARDIS shook suddenly causing the Doctor to fall to the floor. He frowned at the TARDIS as he stood and rubbed his elbow.

"What's up girl?"

The TARDIS let out a low rumble and shook again. The Doctor went to the monitor and began scanning the area for anything that could cause the TARDIS to be acting so oddly. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. Too many weird things were happening and he didn't like it. Something was going on and he was going to figure it out.


	12. Chapter 12

**a/n: Hello my lovelies. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm starting a new job soon so I'm not sure how often I'll be updating but I'm going to try my best not go too long between updates. I don't like it when authors do that to me so I try not to do it to you. Thanks to my wonderful reviewers, followers, and favoriters. I love getting reviews. You guys make me so happy. Now, on with the show!**

Chapter 12

* * *

Rose's days turned into a pattern over the next few weeks. She and the Valeyard would go into the empty white room and he would enter her mind. Each time he'd break off another small part of the wall that had been erected in her mind. Each time a terrible pain shot through Rose's mind and body. The Valeyard would sedate her to help ease the pain and her wolf would appear as her guardian until Rose woke. Rose would take a break for a day or two and then they'd go at it again.

The Valeyard suggested taking a longer break between each session but Rose wasn't having it. She wanted to save the TARDIS. It had become an obsession. Now that she was more connected with Bad Wolf she could feel the TARDIS connection stronger than before. Rose knew that she had to access more power to save the ship but the process was slow going. There was only so much she could handle.

They'd had sex more than a few times between sessions. Rose felt that it was a great way for her body to relieve any of the built of up energy the process was causing. The only problem was she wasn't sure how she felt about it emotionally. The voice in her mind made everything more confusing. For the moment she forced herself to simply enjoy it and not think about it too much.

The Valeyard loved that he was once again connecting with her. Rose was merging with his mind longer than she used to. He'd forgotten the feeling of a telepathic connection. It was a connection he'd lost when he became the last of the Time Lords. Rose wasn't a Time Lord but she wasn't an ordinary human either. She was more. She was better. She was a goddess. He could feel her power now. She radiated it. The power ebbed and flowed depending on her mood. He was finding it harder and harder to continue to push through her mind. The wall containing Bad Wolf was become more difficult to break down. The power that radiated from behind the wall so strong it almost hurt.

One evening the Valeyard walked into a small library down the hall from his rooms. He'd stopped locking her up in there. She wasn't going anywhere so he was no longer worried about a possible escape attempt. Her only restriction was staying within the tower. There was no going outside for her. He wanted to keep her away from other humans.

Rose was sitting in a small chair hammock that hung from the ceiling with a book in her hand. He couldn't tell what she was reading but, from the look on her face, he could tell she was enjoying it. He stood in the doorway for moment just watching her. She was in a large t-shirt and a pair of yoga pants looking extremely comfortable and at ease.

"I know you're there. Are you going to come in or just keep staring at me?" Rose said without looking up from her book.

The Valeyard smiled. It was so nice to have _his_ Rose back. She still hadn't said "I love you" but he was patient. The past two years was proof of that. He was simply enjoying the fact that she was no longer looking at him with fear and hatred in her eyes. His binding had worked and he was thrilled.

"I'm sorry if I like to take in your beauty."

Rose looked up and smiled back at him. A light shimmer surrounded her. She had a visible aura now. Its brilliance varied depending on what she was doing and how she was feeling. The shimmer was just her resting aura. It was beautiful and it was proof that she was more than Rose Tyler now.

"I was thinking-" the Valeyard started to say but Rose interrupted him.

"I want to go see the TARDIS," she said.

It took him a moment to collect his thoughts but he smiled again.

"Of course. When?"

"Right now." Rose climbed out the hammock and replaced her book on the bookshelf. "I have this feeling that I need to go right now."

"Well we can't ignore your feelings can we? Do you know what's going on?" They started to walk towards the elevators that would take them to the top floor.

"I just feel like she needs me. I have to do something. I don't know what yet but it's something."

Five minutes later, Rose and the Valeyard stood in the almost empty room staring at the small TARDIS. The chameleon circuit was not activated at the moment so the ship was simply a silver cylinder, the TARDIS's true form. Rose could feel a distant song in the back of her mind and she knew it was the song of the TARDIS. The gold wolf appeared by her side again and looked at Rose expectantly.

Rose slowly approached the TARDIS. The Valeyard hung back, his gut telling him to let Rose handle this. Rose stopped inches from the small ship. She wasn't sure what was going to happen when she touched the ship. She knew she wanted to help but she was scared. What would happen? When she'd touched the TARDIS the last time she had given the TARDIS Time Vortex energy it had left her drained and weak. Now that she had more access to it, she wasn't sure what it would do to her.

The wolf pressed a paw on the side of the TARDIS while Rose place the palms of both hands next her paw. Pain tore a scream from her as power coursed through her body and into the TARDIS. She was a conduit for the power and the power was overwhelming. She felt as if she was on fire, the energy burning her from the inside out. Every instinct told her to let go, stop, save herself but Rose forced herself to remain connected with the TARDIS. The wolf next to her remained calmly by her side glowing brightly as she helped Rose channel the Vortex energy into the ship. Tears fell down Rose's cheeks but she ignored them like she ignored the fire burning within her.

The Valeyard watched from a distance as gold light flared around Rose and the TARDIS. It was becoming harder to watch as the light grew brighter. He was scared for Rose. He knew she was in a great deal of pain and all he wanted to do was go to her and hold her. He kept his distance however. He couldn't interfere. Rose had the power and she could handle the pain. She was strong and he knew it. He'd seen that through his various torture methods.

The light grew blinding and the Valeyard had to look away. Rose sank to her knees as her legs gave out on her. The Vortex energy was leaving her body more slowly now and she knew that she was almost done. The metal beneath her hands was hot and Rose could feel the ship growing. She gritted her teeth and forced herself to remain still.

Then finally…finally…it was over. The light disappeared and Rose fell to the ground. She couldn't move a muscle. The fire was gone but her body was exhausted and she ached all over. Rose had pushed it past its endurance. Her gold wolf hadn't disappeared. She shrank to a smaller size the licked Rose's face with her tongue. Rose smiled slightly but the smile didn't last long. Even that small use of muscles hurt.

The Valeyard was suddenly hovering over her with concern written all over his face. He checked her pulse, looked into her eyes, listened to her breathing. Rose wanted to say something but she couldn't. She couldn't get her mouth the move or her voice to work.

"Are you okay? Rose. Rose, answer me," he commanded and shook her slightly. Rose let out a groan of pain. The Valeyard almost sagged in relief. She was alive but weak. He moved to pick her up and bring her to his bed but the wolf snapped at him. She had barely missed his hand with her jaws. He raised his hands to his shoulders to show her he meant no harm.

The wolf snorted, lay down, and rested her head on Rose's chest. Rose's breathing was smooth and steady despite her complete stillness and obvious pain. The Valeyard wasn't sure what to do. He sank down next to Rose and began to brush his fingers through his hairs, whispering soothing words of comfort.

Rose's eyes remained closed but she kept her attention focused on the Valeyard's words and the warmth of the wolf on her chest. She hurt all over and it was difficult to remain conscious. As she listened she became aware that the TARDIS song in her head was so much louder, so much stronger than before. Her heart swelled with emotion as the beautiful song rang through her mind. She knew in that moment that the TARDIS had been saved.

The Valeyard, Rose, and the wolf remained silent for a long time. The Valeyard could hear the TARDIS's song in his mind as well. Tears welled behind his eyes as he listened to it. Rose had done it. His TARDIS was alive and thriving. They were one step closer to leaving this universe and returning home with Rose at his side.

* * *

The Doctor lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. He was trying to force himself to sleep so he could dream again but sleep evaded him. He wasn't human so he didn't need as much sleep as they did. It was beyond frustrating to lie there with his mind racing and his body refusing to relax. He needed to dream. He needed to talk to Rose. He needed to know who was hurting her and how she had become Bad Wolf again. But no. He couldn't. Of course he couldn't. That would be way too easy and when was his life ever easy?

He let out a frustrated growl and got out of bed. He needed to do something. Anything. But he couldn't seem to think properly. Even with Rose in another universe he still couldn't think. She messed with his mind and emotions. He could deny it all he wanted to but he knew deep down that he loved her. Love made everything more confusing, more complicated. Love made people do stupid things like letting a Weeping Angel send you back in time to be with your husband without thinking about the risk that you could be sent to a different time period completely.

"Wow. I'm still really bitter about that," he said aloud. Sometimes his emotions surprised him. Logically he knew that Amy had done the right thing but it still hurt. He could never see her again. Just like he could never see Rose again.

And yet, Rose seemed to think that she could. How, he couldn't say. Despite his excitement over the prospect of seeing her again, he was nervous and a little scared. Rose seemed to be in a bad place and her fury at him was a terrible thing to behold, if the dream was anything to go by. He'd never seen her look at him with such anger and hatred in her eyes. That frightened him the most. He could deal with her threats but he wasn't sure he could handle her hating him.

The Doctor headed for the console room. He needed to get his mind off Rose and his problems until he managed to get a brain wave. Maybe he'd take Clara on a trip somewhere fun. She was still a mystery to him and he planned on figuring her out even if he couldn't figure out what was going on with Rose. At least Clara was physically here to investigate. All this theorizing was doing nothing for his sanity.

Yes, a good trip with Clara was exactly what he needed.


	13. Chapter 13

**a/n: Aren't you guys lucky. I don't think I've ever updated this quickly. I do like this chapter. We are definitely moving forward with the story. One step closer to the Doctor and Rose's reunion. That will be interesting. As always, thanks to my reviewers (I _love_ reviews), my followers, and my favoriters. You guys make me so happy.**

Chapter 13

* * *

Rose couldn't move for the longest time. The Valeyard and her wolf never left her side. She didn't know how much time had passed before she started to regain feeling in her limbs. She let out a moan that made the Valeyard jump slightly. His mind had been elsewhere while he had been sitting with Rose. He didn't know how much time had past but he had continued to run his fingers through her hair.

"How do you feel?" he asked as he moved to her side and began checking her vitals.

"Ouch."

The Valeyard actually managed to laugh. He hadn't realized how worried he had been since Rose had started to heal the TARDIS. It had been one of the more terrifying moments of his life.

"Ouch seems to be the proper response. Can you move?"

Rose took inventory of her body. She seemed to have control over all her muscles. It was still painful but at least she had some control of her body again.

"I can move. I don't really want to move but I can." Rose paused for a moment as she listened to the TARDIS song in her mind. "Can you hear her?"

The Valeyard smiled. "Yes. Rose, you did it!" He placed his lips lightly on hers, trying to show his appreciation while also being gentle. He didn't want to cause her more pain.

Rose tried to return the smile. She only managed a small twitch of her lips. The Valeyard noticed her less than enthusiastic response. He looked at her questioningly.

"She can't travel. She's alive and thriving but she can't travel through time or space and definitely not through the Void to our universe." There was deep sadness in her voice and her eyes. The Valeyard could see her feelings of failure written all over her face.

"Rose Tyler, you've saved the TARDIS. I know there is still more work to be done. I'm not remotely disappointed and I certainly do not think you've failed. Without you the TARDIS would have died a slow and painful death."

"I just thought that I would be able to make her fully functional." She tried to sit up on her own but her muscles still felt like jello. Her wolf moved off her chest, touched her nose to Rose's cheek, and disappeared. The Valeyard supported Rose and helped her come to a sitting position.

"I think we need more access to Bad Wolf. She's still contained and you can't completely access the Time Vortex. My hunch is when you and Bad Wolf merge completely you will be able to finish what you've done today."

Rose nodded slightly. The Valeyard could still see the disappointment in her face and he hoped that she would soon see that the progress she had made today was not a failure. He brushed her blonde hair away from her face and lightly kissed her forehead. He placed a finger under her chin, tilting her head up so he could look directly into her eyes.

"I am so proud of you Rose. You've done so much already. We will get there. It just takes time. Please try to be patient."

She looked away and sighed. "Okay," she said finally. She closed her eyes and focused on the TARDIS song to help her calm down. She needed to believe that everything would work out. But what would happen when the TARDIS finally became fully functional? The pain she'd experienced had been terrible. What would happen to Rose when she finally managed to give the TARDIS the final piece?

The Valeyard could see the struggle Rose was experiencing and he needed to keep her mind off of it for now. "Let's get you to bed. You look terrible."

Rose scowled at him. "Well thanks!" she said but she finally managed a real smile.

"Anytime."

He carried her to his, _their_, bedroom. She snuggled under the covers and smiled contentedly. The bed was definitely much more comfortable than the hard floor. Fatigue washed over her in a wave and she yawned.

"Rest," the Valeyard told her. He leaned down and brushed his lips against her. "I love you. Tell me you love me too."

Rose froze for a moment. She couldn't say it. She couldn't. She knew he was desperate to hear those three words come from her but something was continuing to hold her back.

_Say it. Tell him. _

'I can't do it,' she thought.

_TELL HIM!_

Rose almost winced as the command rang loudly through her mind. She fought hard but she couldn't resist it.

"I love you too," she choked out. The words hovered in the air and Rose wished she could take them back. She tried but the words stuck in her throat. What was going on? How could the voice have so much control over her? Fear slid through her veins like ice.

The Valeyard's face lit up with joy. She'd said it. Finally she'd said it. He'd been waiting for so long to hear those words and they were finally spoken aloud. A gentle kiss was not enough for him. He kissed her hard, passionately, and reveled in the taste of her.

Rose wanted to push him away but she didn't have the strength. She let him kiss her but she responded less than enthusiastically. When he finally pulled away Rose felt as if she could breathe again. All kinds of emotions and thoughts raced through Rose's mind. What had happened?

_You love him and you've finally admitted it._

She loved him? No she didn't. She'd only said it because the voice had made her. Right?

_Wrong. You said it because you wanted to._

Rose was beyond confused and all she wanted to do was sleep. She needed to escape these thoughts for the moment until she was ready to face it. The voice scared her slightly. It was unknown and new. She felt as if it was controlling her thoughts and actions.

"I'm so sleepy," Rose told him, trying to hide how shaky she felt.

"Right. Sleep well my love. I will check on you later."

Rose nodded and snuggled deeper into the sheets. She reached out to the TARDIS and the ship's song rang through her mind. Peace came over her and she finally managed to drift off to sleep.

* * *

The Doctor was talking to Clara when he started to feel lightheaded. He frowned and grabbed on to the back of the jump seat. His eyelids started to grow heavier as if he were about to fall asleep. He had a feeling he knew what was going on.

"and-" Clara said but broke off when she noticed the Doctor's odd behavior. "Doctor? Are you okay?"

"I think so though I do believe I'm getting pulled into sleep." His legs went weak and he collapsed onto the seat. Clara jumped forward to help him lay down more comfortably.

"What do I do?" Clara asked frantically.

"Nothing. I'll-" but the Doctor passed out before he could finish the sentence.

* * *

The Doctor found himself on a field on New New Earth. He had been expecting Gallifrey again but he didn't mind. A quick look at his surrounding told him he was in New New York again. This had been the first place he'd taken Rose to after he'd regenerated. He looked around and saw Rose standing on the hill overlooking the city with its flying cars and skyscrapers.

"Rose?" the Doctor said tentatively.

Rose startled slightly but didn't look around. "What are you doing here?"

"I don't know," he told her. He wanted her to look at him but she seemed to be determined to ignore him.

"I brought you here," said a familiar voice. They both turned to find the woman who claimed to be the TARDIS standing not too far away.

"Ah, you. Come to give me another warning? Or maybe you want me to do something for you. Well, I don't care. Just go away," Rose said coldly.

"Rose," the Doctor started to say.

"Don't. I don't need anything from you either," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand.

The Doctor hated the harsh tone of her voice, the obvious anger, the underlying pain.

"Rose Tyler you need help. You need to tell my Thief what is happening to you," the woman said kindly. She looked at Rose with worry on her face but Rose was not moved by it.

"I don't need to tell him anything. It's none of his business and it's definitely none of yours. Keep your nose out of it. Go away," she repeated. The Doctor noticed that a golden aura surrounded Rose again. It was steadily becoming brighter, little specks of dust seemed to float in the light.

"But you must-"

"No! I mustn't do anything! Go the fuck away. I never want to see you again. Stay out of my life. I've done what you asked but now I'm done. Leave. Me. Alone."

Rose was satisfied to see the woman take a step back. She wasn't moved by the sadness showing on the woman's face. The woman containing the heart of the TARDIS took another step back and nodded. Without another word she disappeared in a flash of gold.

"You need to go away too," she told the Doctor.

He almost stepped away at the look of fury in her eyes. He forced himself to meet her eyes and stayed where he was. He was determined to get to the bottom of this mess. He needed to know what the hell was going on so he could fix it.

"Please tell me who's done this to you. Who made you so angry? Who hurt you so badly?"

Rose gave the Doctor a cold, bone-chilling smile. He stepped back despite his earlier resolve to remain still. The smile sent shivers down his spine. His Rose would never look at him that way. His Rose seemed to be gone. What had happened? What is happening? Why did the TARDIS bring them together?

"Well, _Doctor_," she said with a sneer, "I do believe you've done this to me. I should thank you really. Without your help I would have never discovered Bad Wolf still lived within me. You know, I shouldn't be surprised. You always manage to fuck things up despite your good intentions."

"You've mentioned someone. You have said 'him.' Who is this person? What has he done to you?"

"I'm surprised you don't know. It's pretty obvious. Did this new regeneration fry some brain cells? He's made me better. I'm stronger now." To emphasize this she spread her arms wide and the glow around her spread wider and became brighter. She smiled as the power flowed through her, filling her with life.

"Please Rose, tell me. You need help. You're not yourself. I know you. This is not you." The Doctor took a few steps towards her before she waved her hand and he went flying through the air. He landed hard on the apple grass. His arm slammed down onto a rock causing pain to rocket through him. That would definitely leave a mark.

"You don't know me Doctor. Don't you dare tell me who I am." She was glowing so brightly that it was beginning to hurt his eyes. The Doctor remained still as she walked towards him slowly. "I keep thinking about what I'm going to do when we finally meet again. Should I punish you for the shit you've put me through? Do you know what torture feels like? I do. I'm intimately familiar with it. Should I kill you? Then there would be no more Time Lords this universe. I doubt that I'll go that route though. That's the easy way out. I'll have to think about it more. I have plenty of time."

The Doctor couldn't believe his ears. Who was this woman before him? She looked and sounded like Rose but she wasn't Rose. Something, someone, had turned her angry, vengeful, and cruel. Rage filled him at the thought of whoever had caused this. He vowed to himself that he would figure out who had done this to her and help her out of this state. He would _not_ let Rose suffer in this way. His Rose, the real Rose, was still in there somewhere. He would find her and save her. If this was his fault in some way, he would dedicate his every breath to fixing it.

"Tell me Doctor, how do you know this is real?" Rose asked as she crouched down next to him. He still didn't moved a muscle.

"You sent me away in the last dream. It left a mark when I woke up."

"It's gone now."

"Yes," he replied softly. There was an odd look on her face as she peered down at him. She tilted her head slightly as if examining something she couldn't seem to understand.

"Let's see if I can leave you with something a little more lasting," she said as she ripped open his button down shirt and pressed her glowing palm on his chest.

A burning pain seared through his body and he let out a cry. Rose smiled slightly.

"See you later Doctor."

* * *

The Doctor sat up, gasping for breath. The searing pain hadn't ended. He felt it coursing through his body and he let out a muttered curse. Clara was looking down on him, a worried expression clearly written on her face. He winced as he took in a breath.

"Doctor, are you okay?"

"Well, I've been better." He began to unbutton his shirt, almost fearful of what he would find. He couldn't get a good look so he made his way to the bathroom for a look in the mirror. The TARDIS had replaced it after his momentary lapse of control.

A hand print burned bright red on the center of the Doctor's chest. A thin gold line followed the edges of the hand print. More gold lines radiated outwards like a sun burst. He was momentarily speechless. The pain of the tiny fingertip was nothing compared to the feeling of this interesting mark.

"What in the world is that?" Clara asked. She was looking over his shoulder, seeing the reflection of the burn on his chest.

The Doctor turned to face her. He winced again. Apparently any movement hurt. Clara's eyes were wide as she took in the angry red mark on the Doctor's pale skin. She leaned closer to examine it. The red skin was raised and she could actually see lines that every palm has and the whirls on the fingertips.

"This would be the mark of a very angry woman with the power of the Time Vortex running through her body. Also known as Rose Tyler."

Clara looked up to see a very grim expression on his face. It wasn't an expression she'd seen before.

"I'm guessing this is bad."

The Doctor checked out his arm to find a bruise from the hard object he had hit when Rose had tossed him through the air like a rag doll. He looked up at Clara nodded gravely. "Yes Clara, this is very bad."


	14. Chapter 14

**a/n: Okay so there's a bit of smut in this chapter. But also plot development. Oh I'm so excited. As always, thank you to my reviewers, followers, and favoriters. Enjoy. **

Chapter 14

* * *

Rose woke full of rage. When she looked at the hand she had pressed to the Doctor's chest she saw that it was glowing. A further check showed that her entire body was glowing. Despite seeing this she did not calm down. She threw the covers off and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. The Valeyard seemed to be out so she wasn't worried about waking him.

How dare he! And how dare the TARDIS! Rose paced the large room, her bare feet making little noise on the cool tile floor. She glanced at the mirror and saw that her eyes were as gold as the glow that surrounded her. A small smile curved her lips. She liked this look. It was proof that she and Bad Wolf were merging, becoming one. Someday soon she would fix the TARDIS fully and then travel with the Valeyard back home where she belonged.

She wondered if the Doctor would ever figure out what was going on in Rose's world. He seemed to be unable to grasp anything. His shock seemed to shut his brain off to everything she'd said. Then, when he finally figured it out, what would he do? Of course he'd try to "save" her.

"I don't need to be saved," she told her reflection.

_Of course not. You are Rose Tyler and you are Bad Wolf. You have everything you want. You have the Valeyard. _

Yes, she did have the Valeyard. He just made things very confusing. Combine his words, his past actions, and the new voice in her head and she was just a mess. For the moment she needed to focus on the TARDIS and getting home. She needed Bad Wolf.

Rose's thoughts drifted back to the dream. It had been real. It was so obvious now. In the dream she'd sent the Doctor flying with the flick of her hand. That was new and she found herself wanting to try again. What else would she gain as she accessed more of Bad Wolf's power? Rose tilted her head to the side, examining her reflection curiously. She looked so different. She hadn't noticed it before. Of course, she hadn't been paying attention to her appearance when she'd been a prisoner of the Valeyard.

Taking a deep breath, Rose forced herself to calm down. The glow disappeared and all that remained was a light shimmer. She hadn't noticed the shimmer either. Had it always been there? Doubtful. The mirror showed that her once bleach blonde hair was now gold. It wasn't as bright as the Vortex Energy 's golden hue but it was pretty close. Her brown eyes now had gold streaks through the irises. The gold that had filled them before had disappeared with her glowing outline but she noticed that her regular brown irises were lightening. She wondered what would happen to her appearance when she merged with Bad Wolf.

Rose looked over the contents on the counter top. If she could throw the Doctor in her dream, she could certainly move objects while awake. She focused on the toothbrushes in their holder and twitched a finger. They flew up into the air, much easier than Rose was expecting. She ducked as they flew towards her face. Rose closed her fist and the toothbrushes fell to the ground. She actually laughed out loud. Practice. That's what she needed. Control over these objects wasn't much different than the control of the gold light she'd conjured before.

The Valeyard walked into the bathroom to find Rose in the center in the room with objects flying around her. Her aura glowed brightly but not the usual brightness that surrounded her when her emotions became volatile. He watched in awe as she directed a hairbrush, a bottle of hand soap, basically anything that wasn't fixed down was flying through the air. The Valeyard had to duck a few times to avoid being clobbered.

"Rose," he finally managed to say through his shock.

Rose looked around in surprise. Her concentration faltered and everything crashed to the ground. The ceramic toothbrush holder shattered along with a mirror and other small breakable objects. Her eyes were glowing again and the Valeyard could tell from the expression on her face that she was exhilarated. The Valeyard grinned at her and Rose returned the grin.

"Valeyard. Did you see that? Did you see what I can do?" She was like a child, giddy and proud of learning something new.

"Rose you are wonderful! That was amazing. How did you know you could do that?"

Rose hesitated. She didn't want to tell the Valeyard about her dreams. She didn't know how he would react and that scared her.

_You should tell him. He would want to know. _

The voice wasn't commanding so Rose found that she could ignore it. That was something she hadn't noticed before. Interesting.

"I don't know. It just kinda happened." She looked to the Valeyard. "I feel so alive Valeyard. I can't believe what I did."

The Valeyard took two large steps and scooped her up a hug. Her feet left the ground as he spun her around. Her joy was infectious. Warmth radiated from her, filling him up with the same energy flowing through her. He couldn't hold it back. He kissed her like he hadn't kissed her before. It was like he was suddenly able to breathe again and she was the air he had been missing.

Rose wrapped her arms around the Valeyard's neck pressing her body against him. Her golden aura grew and encompassed them both. They reached out with their minds at simultaneously and the spike of feeling it caused him almost put the Valeyard over the edge. He made quick work of removing their clothes, desperate to feel her skin against his. He pressed her against a wall, kissing her hard and grinding against her. One hand cupped her breast and he tweaked her nipple with his agile fingers. She raked one hand through his gravity defying hair while the other held onto the back of his neck, pulling him closer to her, needing to feel his body pressed against hers.

"Valeyard," she said with a frown when he pulled away from her.

"I'd rather not get bruised on this very cold tile," he said with a devious smile. She let out a small squeak as he picked her up and moved them to the bed. The Valeyard paused for a moment, taking in her beauty. She was all his.

Rose beckoned him to her and he happily obliged. He left a trail of kisses down her neck as his body pretty against hers. He slowly moved his way down her body, stopping to caress each nipple with his tongue. Rose let out soft sigh and ran both hands through his hair, clutching it between her fingers. The Valeyard smiled at the noises she continued to make.

The trail his lips left were on fire. She could feel each spot and wanted so much more. He moved lower and lower, taking his time as he traveled lower and lower. The Valeyard took a moment to focus a spot on her hip, nipping, kissing, sucking, until he was sure a mark would remain. A mark that claimed her as his.

The Valeyard looked up and they locked eyes. The glow around Rose was brilliant and beautiful. He slipped two fingers into her wet heat and she bucked against him. A wicked smile spread across his face. He began a slow torture, bringing her to the edge before backing off. Rose growled in frustration.

"Is something wrong?" he asked in an innocent tone.

Rose didn't respond with words. She wrapped her legs around him again and pulled him down so she could kiss him. A small chuckle escaped him, amused at her reaction. He paused for a moment, hovering at her entrance. He raised an eyebrow, teasing her even more.

"Valeyard, please. I need you. I need you now."

The time for teasing was done. He slid into her, the feel of her hot and tight around him almost bringing him over the edge. He moved in a smooth and steady rhythm, Rose matching his every thrust. He sped up, needing more, needing to be as close as possible, to be one with the woman below him.

Rose's nails raked down his back as she called his name. Her muscles quivered around him before finally sending her over the edge. With two more quick thrusts he joins her, stars exploding before his eyes. He collapsed against her, completely spent.

They lay there for a few moments in silence. Rose didn't want to move but the Valeyard's weight was becoming too much.

"Can't breathe," she said softly.

The Valeyard rolled of her with a groan and she whimpered at the loss of him. She moved over to him, resting her head against his chest. The glow around them didn't disappear but it dimmed slightly. To the Valeyard's surprise, Rose didn't pull away from his mind. He clutched on to that fact and focused on it, focused on the feeling of mind connecting mind. He didn't want her to break contact. He didn't want to return to that emptiness.

"I'm still glowing," Rose said, finally breaking the silence.

"You are indeed. You glow a lot these days."

"Apparently." Rose lifted her head and looked at the Valeyard. "That was amazing."

"You're amazing." He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips and pulled her into his arms. "And you're mine."

* * *

The Doctor sat on the jump seat with his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. He had to think. It was like his brain couldn't focus. Rose's face kept popping into his mind. Her anger, her obvious power, her beauty. She glowed for god's sake. Glowed!

"Think, you idiot, think!"

He went over her words, speaking aloud to try to make sense of his world.

"One, she had wanted to die."

That no longer seemed to be true. She had seemed weak and tortured when he'd first seen her. That had been a terrible sight to see. All he'd wanted to do was hold her in his arms and tell her everything would be okay. But she'd backed away from him and a gold wolf appeared. The wolf intrigued him.

"Two, she continually said it was my fault."

Well, he knew she had been hurt that he'd left her behind in the parallel universe. But she had seemed happy. He'd given her everything she wanted. But something must have happened. If only she would stop being so stubborn!

"Three, she repeatedly mentioned _him_."

When he'd woken up he'd had a sick feeling in his stomach on top of the burning pain on his chest. That sick feeling told him who was responsible for Rose's suffering. The Doctor was responsible for her suffering, just not this Doctor. A parallel Doctor. A Doctor whom he had thought had been an exact replica of himself. A Time Lord with one heart.

"Four, she's really fucking pissed at me."

And he couldn't blame her. Why had it taken so long for him to realize it? Why had he not made the connection? Probably because facing it was acknowledging that there was a part of him who had hurt Rose until she broke.

"_Do you know what torture feels like? I do. I'm intimately familiar with it."_

He had created Rose's hell. He wouldn't take all the blame, the other Doctor had the privilege of sharing with him, but the majority of it fell on his shoulders. What could have possibly caused his meta-crisis to turn so cruel? And what the hell had he done to turn Rose into someone he didn't know? In the end it didn't matter. He would fix his mistake. He would save Rose Tyler just like she'd saved him so many times before.

Darkness surrounded him and an icy calm settled over him. To hell with it all. To hell with the possibility of collapsing universes. He was the Oncoming Storm. Nothing could stand in his way.

* * *

They were back on Gallifrey. Rose wasn't surprised to find the Doctor sitting next to her. He seemed different now. There was no panicked desperation for answers. He was calm and collected. Rose had seen him like this before. It used to scare her but it didn't even bother her now. There were worse things out there than an angry Doctor.

"I guess you've figured it out. Took you long enough," Rose said calmly, not looking away from the distant mountains.

"You could have just told me," the Doctor responded just as calmly.

Rose snorted, "And lose out on the opportunity to watch you suffer?"

They sat there in silence for a long time. Finally the Doctor spoke up.

"You hate me." It was a statement, not a fact.

She didn't respond. She wasn't even sure what to say. Her feelings towards him were many and confusing.

"I don't know anymore, Doctor. But I've made my choice and I've chosen the Valeyard." Rose turned to look at him and was surprised at his expression. Blank shock was written on his face. He looked like he'd been slapped. Obviously that meant something but she found she didn't care.

"Did you say Valeyard?"

"How's your chest?" Rose asked, ignoring his question.

The Doctor opened his shirt. A perfect replica of her hand was etched in gold in the very center. Rose could see the whirls from her fingertips and the creases from her palm. Vein-like strands of gold radiated outwards. She smiled in satisfaction. He could look at that every day and remember who she was and what he had done.

Rose stood and brushed off her jeans. She looked down at the Doctor with an appraising eye. His new demeanor intrigued her and she wondered what would happen when they finally faced each other. The Bad Wolf and the Oncoming Storm.


End file.
